She just smiled and looked away.
They continued down the trail, guiding their horses over the rocks. It was strange that after all that had happened, he felt at a loss for words. He continued speaking, refusing to let any awkwardness creep between them. “Are you as pleased as I am with the events of last night?” he persisted.
“It was nice,” she said quietly.
“Just nice?” he coaxed, looking for some sign she would welcome him into her bed again, preferably very soon. But she stiffened, and it was his first indication that maybe Alex wasn’t thinking the same as he was.
“You can be satisfied with your performance, if that’s what you are asking.” There was still a teasing tone in her voice, but he felt the distance coming back, an earthquake threatening to rumble a chasm between them.
“Well, I’m glad for that Alex, but it’s not what I’m asking.” He turned his head so he could lower his voice. “I’d actually like to hear that you like me a little more than you did before last night.”
She gave a laugh. “Well, you did not go down in any estimation.”
“I suppose that’s a start,” he smirked, gratification running through him again. His voice softened. “Was it what you’d hoped for?” he asked.
“Philippe, we shouldn’t talk about such things out here. It isn’t proper.”
“What we did last night wasn’t proper.”
“Yes, but now we are in the open.”
“I don’t care,” he said.
She blew a strand of hair out of her face in frustration. Then she turned to him. “It was far more than I expected,” she smiled with her eyes cast down. “It was wonderful. And I thank you for treating me so well.”
The pride her words caused was almost out of control. She was his woman now, and he had pleased her. It was enough to send him to themoon. He could have soared in the feeling for the rest of the day. That is, until her next sentence brought him back down to earth.
“It shall be a memory I treasure throughout my life.”
He paused for a moment, wondering if he was detecting the correct tone in her voice. “I had hoped,” he caged, “to give you many more memories.”
She laughed. “You don’t have to patronize me.”
“What do you mean?” he asked.
She shrugged. “I asked for the experience, and you gave it to me. Surely, you have your next conquest in mind already.”
“What conquest? Do you think you were a conquest?”
She looked at him, rolled her eyes and then laughed again. “For once, I promise I am not upset with you. I knew what I was getting into. I wished to know what sex would be like. And who better to show me?”
His heart was beating too slowly. Or maybe her words were coming too fast. “No, no, no. Alex,” he said. “That was not just sex.”
“Philippe,” she deadpanned. “Of course it was.”
“Alex.” He stopped his horse. “Alex,” he called again. She stopped and looked at him. The men up ahead shot curious glances at the two of them, but seeing Philippe’s contorted face, they hid their stares and continued moving forward.
“I—I,” he stammered. He didn’t quite know what to say. He hadn’t even considered the possibility that his intentions were unclear. She stared back at him. He felt that if he just found the correct words, he could make things right, but he didn’t know what he had done wrong or why she was acting so coldly. So, what could he say to fix it? “It wasn’t just sex,” he said. “For me.”
She looked at him squarely. “It has always been ‘just sex’ for you.”
He took the words to the gut. “In the past perhaps,” he trailed off.
“This is not about the past.”
He could not understand why she continued to push him away. It turned him suddenly defensive. “Then what is it about?” he snapped, his voice rising. “You clearly still aim to make me pay for what I did six years ago.”
“I am not still mad about that,” she said. “But I cannot see where this will lead.” Her voice matched his. “What do you want, Philippe? Do you want me to go be your mistress? So you can have me when you wish, and Ican die on the vine wondering when you will come visit me again? I have seen you do it to other girls. You forget that I watched you play for many years. I do not wish to get tangled up in that game.”
