Before Sara can say anything, Dante stands.“It may not be conventional, but I think we’ve all been waiting for you to be ready for this.I’m not going anywhere, pip.”
Her eyes glisten with unshed tears as she smiles up at him.
“You know where I stand, flower.”Finn runs a hand through his hair and gives her a crooked grin.“You’re mine.I’m not letting you go.You want them too?I’ll make them stay even if I have to tie them to the bed for you.”
A sudden, bright laugh comes out of Sara and her gaze returns to me.
“You have to know the truth before you can decide on me, trouble.”I swallow that bitter pill.“I—” Clearing my throat, I meet those eyes that want me, maybe even fucking love me, but it’s an illusion that’s easily shattered.“I love you.I always have.I always will.But you may not feel the same after…”
And that’s what’s tearing me apart inside.
“Do you want us to leave?”Drew asks.He puts his hand on my shoulder to steady me.
I shake my head.“No.If Tom is going to use it against me, you should all be made aware of what I did.”
Sara presses her lips together like she’s keeping herself from saying something.Maybe it’s better that she never says those words to me.Maybe it’s better if I just leave right now.
But if it means I can hold her in my arms forever, it will be worth it.But if I never get to kiss her again.I press my fingers to my lips, still feeling the kiss we shared.I could live on the memory of her touch.The softness of her body.The ragged breaths of her climax.The whisper of my name on her lips.
Everyone settles in their chairs, waiting for me, but I don’t want to change that look in her eyes.
Drawing in a deep breath, I let it out.“Christopher Hawkins isn’t my biological father.My mother was pregnant when he married her.”
Finn and Dante know this part of the story.Shoving to my feet to pace, I can’t watch when her love turns to hate.
“I always knew Hawkins wasn’t my real father, but he played the doting father role well in public.My mother wanted me to know why he was cold to me at home.She wanted me to know I’m not biologically his and why, when he dies someday, I won’t have the same privileges as my siblings.Even though I have his name.”
I run my hand through my hair, remembering how I didn’t belong even though I was the oldest.How my brother and sister got love that I didn’t.In public, Christopher made sure I was one of his, and society thought he loved me just as much.But behind closed doors, I was a second-class citizen.Someone he had to deal with to have my mom.
“My mother’s family set up a trust fund for me years ago.So I didn’t really care about the money that wouldn’t be mine.But I felt like there was something missing from my life and thought my real father might be the key.”
I pace to the window.“Your father knew I was looking for my biological father.Our families have been friends for a long time.My mom and your mom were besties.It’s why Tom and I played together from a young age.”
I stare into the sunlit field surrounding the house, seeing bits of color from flowers growing wild in the grass.That’s Sara for me, those bits of color in the grass, drawing my eye and making me wonder how I can keep it pretty and mine.
“I figured out my father’s name from a paper in my mother’s office.That and the argument my mother had with Christopher.When I was eight, she told my biological father about me at an event.Christopher yelled at her for doing that.Saying my father would no doubt hold it over Christopher’s head.”
I clasp my hands behind my back and focus on my reflection in the glass, wavy and transparent.
“I was nine the first and last time I saw my real father.He looked just like me.It was a soccer match your father took all of us to.Even if I hadn’t already known he was my father, I would have been able to pick him out in the crowd.I pointed him out to Tom, Finn, and Dante.”That day was a great day with Tom’s dad.
“It wasn’t long after that the news came out.”Dante sits with his hands clasped between his knees.“There were allegations being made, but Gerald Wyatt claimed his innocence.”
“What allegations?”Sara asks.
I brace myself and turn to meet her questioning gaze.“Ponzi schemes.He took a lot of people’s money.If this estate hadn’t been left to his heir, it would have been claimed when he went missing.”
“Missing?”Sara touches her neck.
“When I was eleven, my father reached out and wanted to meet.”
“Wait.What?Why didn’t I know this?”Finn glances at Dante, who shakes his head.
“I only told Tom.”I turn back to my reflection in the window, hazy.“My dad was being hard on me because my grades were slipping.I spent too much time trying to figure out what was happening with my biological dad.Reading the news clippings.Following the social media buzz around him, but he hadn’t been arrested.So I figured it was all bullshit.Maybe even something Christopher did to get Gerald out of our lives completely.”
Thoughts of my real dad consumed me to the point that I didn’t really care about anything else.“In my mind, Gerald was going to save me from this horrible life I thought I had.I didn’t really know what I had until I almost lost it all.”
I put my hand against the glass and hang my head.This is the part only Tom knows.The part that will destroy what she feels for me.I’ve never forgiven myself.How could she?
