“I cannot give you my name,” he said hoarsely. “But I can give you something else.”
“What?”
“My heart.”
Maitland’s eyes widened and she gasped, leaning away from him, but she didn’t get up off the rock. She continued to sit there, looking at him with wide eyes.
“Do not tell me that,” she breathed.
“Why not?”
“Because… because it is simply not fair.”
“To whom? Me or you?”
“Both of us,” she said, the shock in her expression replaced by pain. “Don’t you know that I would take your heart and never give it back, Thomas? Don’t you know that I would keep it forever?”
Thomas could see, in that statement, that she was feeling as much angst and pain as he was. He had to tear his gaze away from her or risk reaching out for her.
“So what do we do?” he asked. “And do not tell me to go away, because I will not. And do not tell me to forget about you, because I cannot. Even if I never touch you, Mae, I want to come here to visit you, to hear you laugh and see you smile. Don’t you know what joy I feel when I see how happy you are now? How happy a little money and a few goats have made you? Please do not take that away from me. Do not take away the only true happiness I may ever know.”
“I won’t,” she murmured. “I could not take that away from myself. I do not know what we are to do, Thomas. Mayhap simply speaking about what we feel will suffice for now. Mayhap it will be a test of willpower, to see if our pretty words are stronger than what is in our hearts. Have you punched Des in the face yet for not having introduced us sooner?”
Thomas broke down into soft laughter at the unexpected humor. “I have not,” he said. “But he and I have had a discussion about you. He told me to stay away from you.”
“Will you listen to him?”
He looked at her, shaking his head slowly. When he spoke, it was simply to mouth the word.
“Nay.”
No sound came out, but Maitland didn’t have to hear the word to know what he’d said. It was like a dagger through her heart but, in the same breath, it was everything she wanted to hear. She could feel the beauty of his feelings, no longer truly concerned that they were simply a whim. She could feel the truth of his words in the purest sense, and she believed him implicitly. It was at that moment she realized that she was denying herself something that every woman wants– the adoration and attention of a man. She’d never had it for herself and, damnation, she wanted it.
The strong stance she was taking against him was starting to crumble.
It was already gone.
Lowering her gaze, she stood up and held out her hand to him. “You wanted to see the tower?” she said. “Let me show you.”
She was changing the subject, which was probably wise. Thomas couldn’t say much about it other than to simply follow her. In truth, he was feeling depressed and lost, having finally found a woman he could feel something for and unable to act upon it. He had no idea how he was going to navigate the situation and not have his guts ripped out every time he saw her. He wondered if, in the years to come, he’d simply become accustomed to the pain.
It was a sorrowful thought.
The tower loomed before them and Thomas could immediately see the fortified door, which took his mind off his troubles for the moment. The carpenters he’d sent from Wark had done a remarkable job on it and as Maitland opened the door, he ran his hands over the panel, inspecting it.
There were two big iron bolts on the interior of it, plus a lock, all of it nicely securing the door. He shut it, throwing the bolts to see how strong they were. He was bent down, inspecting the iron bolts, but as he came up, a body suddenly pressed against him. Hands were on his face and before he realized what was happening, Maitland was slanting her soft lips over his.
Off-balance, Thomas slammed back into the wall next to the bolted tower door, his arms going around Maitland of their own volition. One moment, he was startled and in the next, she was in his tight embrace. He was surely squeezing the breath from her. Maitland’s arms were around his neck, her mouth on his, and when Thomas realized what was happening, instinct took over.
He could hardly believe it.
His heart was pounding in his ears as he suckled her lips, forcing her mouth open with his tongue and tasting her sweetness. Maitland didn’t resist him, not in the least, and whatever fire was burning in his belly was burning just as hotly in hers. She was soft and pliable in his arms, and he kissed her furiously, so hard that he drove his teeth into his soft lip, drawing blood, which Maitland licked off hungrily. When she pulled back to look at him, he saw his own blood on her lips and it drove him wild.
He was on her again in a flash, picking her up in his arms, her feet dangling a foot or more off the ground. He was suckling her lips, her cheek, her neck, moving against the wall until they stumbled into the chamber on the lower level that had once been used as a hall. The hearth was dark but daylight streamed inthrough the small lancet windows, giving some light to see by. But all Thomas knew was that he’d never been so hungry for a woman in his life. Light or dark, he didn’t need to see her.
He only needed to feel her.
In truth, he could hardly believe he found himself in this situation. Up until a few seconds ago, Thomas was positive he would have to go the rest of his life never having touched Maitland, and he was still shocked that she had thrown herself at him. But he didn’t question it. He was bloody well thankful. Somehow, they ended up backed into the repaired feasting table and he slammed his thigh into it, which caused him to pause in his sensual assault. He pulled back for a moment, finding himself looking into her wide, beautiful eyes.
