“Will you answer a question for me?” he asked softly.
It was a tone that sent chills down her spine. “If I can.”
Even though his arm was still up, somehow, he was moving closer to her. “I told you that if I had met you before that harpy came into my life, I would have pursued you,” he said, his voice low and purring. “You said that you would have let me catch you. Is that really true?”
Maitland quickly averted her eyes, fearful of what would happen if she looked at him. “I said it,” she said. “I meant it. May I pass now? There is much to do and Tibby cannot do it alone.”
He dropped his arm but when she took a step to move past him, he grasped her left hand and lifted it to his lips, kissing it gently. It was enough to cause a gasp to come from Maitland’s lips, feeling a chill run down her arm as her heart began to race. Breathing became a chore as she struggled to stay on an even keel.
“Please… do not do that,” she whispered.
“Why not?”
“Because you said you came to Edenside with me as a friend and patron,” she said. “A friend would not have taken the liberty you just took.”
He didn’t let go of her hand, although he knew she had a point. But he simply couldn’t help himself. “I lied,” he murmured, his mouth against her flesh. “God help me, I lied. Mae, I cannot help my attraction to you. I cannot help any of it.”
Maitland was growing increasingly frightened, mostly because she knew if he sincerely pressed his attention, she wouldn’t be able to fight him off. She wouldn’twantto fight him off.
“Stop, Thomas,” she begged softly. “Please.”
“Must I go through the rest of my life wondering what could have been between us?”
With her last shred of strength, she yanked her hand from his grasp, turning to him as she backed away. “It is infatuation and nothing more,” she said. “You are in a miserable existence with Lady Adelaide and I am a fresh, new face. That is all it is. Would you truly treat me with such disrespect? Am I worth nothing more than a passing fancy? Please do not tempt me anymore, Thomas. I beg you. It is not fair to me.”
With that, she fled down the stairs, leaving Thomas standing in the doorway, feeling ashamed and disappointed, more than he’d felt in a very long time. God, was she right? Was it really only infatuation and nothing more? He didn’t think so. He’d been infatuated before and it never felt like this.
Never like this.
Maitland wasn’t simply another pretty face; she was smart and creative and compassionate. She was everything a woman should be but, in that instant, he realized that she was right– he had been treating her with disrespect. If she’d let him, he would have bedded her, right now on the cold and dirty floor. God help him, he would have.
But it would not have been a mere conquest.
It would have been something more, something…emotional.
A sampling of what could have been.
Feeling contrite and weak, Thomas realized he couldn’t do that to her. If he had a shred of respect for her, he couldn’t treat her as he’d treated nearly every other woman who had ever caught his eye. She’d been absolutely right.
She deserved his respect.
Feeling disheartened as he hadn’t felt in his entire life, Thomas followed Maitland’s path down the stairs.
It was nearing sunset now, with streaks of orange and pink across the sky as the clouds moved through the coming dusk. The smell of the meat was very heavy in the air as he made his way over to the spit where the soldiers were starting to cut off succulent strips of pork and eating it. Maitland was there, as was Tibelda, and the women had been given small wooden cups to put their pork and beans in.
But Thomas stayed away from the fire. He couldn’t face Maitland at the moment so it was best he simply avoid her. He was greatly confused by his words to her, and her subsequent reaction. As he headed over to his horse, kept away fromthe other animals, he caught movement out of the corner of his eye, seeing Maitland with her cup of beans and meat heading towards the outbuilding where Artus and Queenie had disappeared. As she moved away, he watched curiously.
He watched her with longing.
He simply couldn’t help it.
For her part, Maitland knew Thomas was looking at her. She could feel his eyes upon her like a gentle touch, inviting and warm, like something she couldn’t shake. But she didn’t look at him in return because she was still trying to overcome their encounter in the tower. Part of her was wishing she hadn’t walked away, so she kept her focus away from him. She couldn’t let that weaker part dictate her morals or actions.
Therefore, she kept her focus on something other than Thomas’ heated kiss– she focused on the children, hoping to lure them out of their hiding places, so she made her way to the doorway she had seen Artus and Queenie enter, standing just outside as she called out to the occupants.
“Artus?” she said. “I have a nice, hot meal for you and the others. I know you can smell the meat and you must surely be hungry. Please come out. This lovely food is for you.”
There wasn’t an immediate answer, but she could hear hissing back in the darkness of the outbuilding. In fact, there was a good deal of conversation and she thought she heard a child crying. Seizing the opportunity, she took a big bite of the pork.
