“Cole was… upset, my lord,” he said. “He asked her if the rumors were true and she told him that by the way he had asked her, he must have believed them already. They argued and she finally told him to go to hell and not return.”
Jax closed his eyes, shaking his head regretfully. “He could not have taken that well,” he said. “I will go and speak to him.”
That was what Essien wanted to hear. He looked to Atreus, hoping that meant everything would be well again, but Atreus’ expression didn’t seem too encouraging.
As Essien waited on the battlements, Jax made his way down to the riverside where Cole was still standing in the water. He walked up beside Julian and Addax, standing there a moment and looking at Cole, before quietly asking Julian and Addax to step away and give them some privacy. They complied, backing off, as Jax walked to the edge of the river.
“Cole,” he said. “I was told what happened. Come out of the water and let us discuss this calmly. Surely it is not as bad as it seems.”
Cole didn’t move. He remained in the same position, looking out over the dark blue waters of the River Tweed.
“Go away, Papa,” he said. “I do not want to discuss it.”
Jax folded his big arms across his chest. “You know I will not go anywhere and you cannot make me, so you may as well accept my presence,” he said. “Tell me what happened with you and Lady Corisande. I want to hear it from you.”
He heard Cole sigh heavily, a pent-up sigh that seemed to come from his toes. “I do not wish to discuss it.”
“Then we are going to stand here a very long time. Do you not trust me with such matters?”
Even in his state of turmoil, Cole was not going to insult his father. Of course he trusted him. But it was more that he didn’ttrust himself to speak, afraid he would lose control and never get it back.
He was hanging by a thread.
And that thread was unraveling.
“I… I feel like I did when Mary and Lucy died,” he finally said. “Grief… loss… but this is different. When they died, it was the will of God. That’s what everyone told me, anyway. It was something I could not control. But this… this cuts deeper, but in a different way.”
“What way?”
“Because I let myself be happy again. I was not prepared for the fall from grace.”
Jax hated to hear that come out of his son’s mouth. “Tell me what happened so that I may understand.”
Cole shifted on his undoubtedly frozen legs. “There is nothing to tell,” he said. “She gave herself over to her captor in order to secure the release of the English captives. I asked her and she did not deny it.”
“So you believe the rumors.”
“As I said, I asked her and she would not answer me.”
“You just told me she did not deny it. Now you tell me she would not answer you. Which is it?”
Cole did turn to look at him, then. “Both,” he said. “She would not give me a straight answer. That is the same thing as not denying the rumors.”
Jax looked at his boy. He loved all of his sons, but Cole was his firstborn. He was the child who made Jax grow from a soulless barbarian to a man with feeling. Cole was the light of his life. But he was also stubborn, ridiculously so, and he had a temper. Jax could see that both of those things had come into play in the situation. Cole was seeing it the way he wanted to see it.
He wasn’t seeing it from any other perspective.
“So she did not deny them,” he said. “And now you hate her.”
Cole shook his head. “That is the problem,” he said. “I don’t. I never could. Papa, I love her. How could she do such a thing? How could she violate everything we have between us?”
Jax cocked his head. “Let me understand this situation as you see it,” he said. “She violated your bond, your trusts, in exchange for the release of captives. That means she does not love you?”
“After our most recent conversation, probably not.”
“The woman is so shallow that she could not love you after an argument. Is that what you’re telling me?”
“Nay, that is not what I’m telling you,” Cole said, growing frustrated. “I don’t know what I’m telling you.”
