She held my gaze, making sure I was back, fully back, and whispered, “You’re safe. I got you. You’re safe. Deep breaths, Cezar. Breathe with me, okay?” She stuttered like she needed it just as badly as I did.
I followed her inhale, her exhale. Hung on to every sound. Every word. Did she really care? Or was I constructing some illusion to keep myself from shattering again? I didn’t know what was real anymore.
Why did Lina stop? I hadn’t given the gesture. I hadn’t done anything except spiral. She unbuckled the straps slowly, almost afraid to rush me, and my arms felt limp at my sides. I just lay there, spent and hollowed out, staring up at her as she searched my face.
I ruin everything.
She laid her body on my chest, and I felt her breathing. I wanted to hold her so fucking badly, but I didn’t move. I didn’t trust myself yet.
“Cezar…” Hesitantly, she sat up. Her hair slid forward, brushing my shoulder, trailing down my ribs. The worry was written all over her face. She was fighting not to fidget, not to look away from me, keeping herself together so I could find my footing again.
“Cezar, it’s okay to have boundaries. It’s okay to be scared. It’s okay to tell me to stop, to use the safe word.”
My tears returned, uninvited. I hated them and needed them at the same time. She leaned closer, eyes traveling across my features before they landed on my mouth. She kissed me. Soft atfirst, patient in a way no one had ever been with me. Every slow, deliberate peck loosened something tight in my chest. My eyes shut, not from fear this time but from the kind of pleasure that made me go weak.
Finally, someone worthy of my pain.
I moved my hands to caress her sides, eventually finding a place on her back, pushing her body against me. The sounds she made were addictive. I was greedy, and I wanted what was mine. I pushed my tongue into her mouth, and she met me with the same hunger, both of us chasing breath only when survival demanded it.
Even then, I didn’t let go. We stayed like that, tangled with the air heavy and warm around us. Her fingers wiped the tears from my cheeks, erasing the pain from existence. Then her touch moved down my collarbone, slow as hell, until she reached my nipple. The sudden snap of the clamp made my entire body jolt, a harsh hiss ripping out of me.
Fuck. That hurt. Then she soothed the sting with her thumb, gentle circles that dragged a low sound from my throat.
Her movements trailed lower. Her hair tickled my stomach, my hips, every nerve under my skin. She pulled my pants down, and when my cock sprang free, the quick flash across her face nearly undid me. She didn’t stop.
One hand wrapped around my cock, and the other cupped my balls. I almost lost it right there. Then her mouth closed around my length, and heat swallowed me. I choked on a groan, gripping the sheets, forcing my hips flat to the mattress because the last thing I wanted was to shove myself down her throat without her permission.
With careful restraint, I cradled the back of her head. I ached to touch her everywhere, drown myself in her. Even with the overwhelming pleasure tearing through me, I couldn’t stop marveling at how good she was.
Her teeth grazed along my cock—a shock that snapped my head up. Her lips curled around me with that sly little smile—the one that told me she knew exactly what she was doing to me.
Then she swallowed me whole.
“Ah, fuck, Petal, fuck…” The words shook out of me in broken pieces as my body jerked from the force of it. She took every bit of it.
When she finally pulled up, I forced myself upright, though my limbs felt useless. The rush was fading, and I was trembling from the intensity of it all. “I didn’t mean to—”
I shut up instantly when she licked her lips with an affectionate look. I cleared the strands from her face and held her there. Leaned in. She met me halfway. I could taste both of us on her tongue. Sin and sweetness. She was heaven. Maybe I had already died.
If only she’d let me drown in her love.
Then, out of nowhere, we both started laughing. Probably because we were terrible at handling serious shit. Her laugh, though, I’d burn the world down to hear it again and again.
“Cezar, I’ll be right back, okay?” There was uncertainty in her voice, like she didn’t want to leave. I didn’t want her to go, but I knew she’d return. I trusted her.
Lina got off the bed, smoothing herself out, still catching her breath. One last look, and she stepped away, leaving me waiting for her. I found solace in the simple fact that for now, she was mine.
Chapter 23
ADELINA
What happened in there? I still couldn’t make sense of it. Why didn’t he snap? Why wouldn’t he? He couldn’t have forgotten—we agreed on that signal. His mind had gone somewhere far, somewhere I couldn’t reach, and I hated it. I hated that I’d pushed him there.
My hands were still trembling as I reached the kitchen. All I needed were the damn cookies I bought and a bottle of water. Why the hell didn’t I already have those in the room? Amateur hour. And Dorin just had to be standing right there.
I tried to walk past him, avoid eye contact, avoid the conversation entirely, but he was too observant for his own good. His footsteps followed mine, and before I could stop him, he pulled my face up.
“Lina, why do you look scared?”
