“But the second I knew she existed—” He stopped. “Wasn’t even a question. She was mine and I was going to figure it out.” He paused. “I didn’t know I wanted it until it was happening. Then I couldn’t imagine anything else.”
I looked at him.
He looked back.
“That’s kind of what this feels like,” he said quietly. “For the record.”
“I feel the same way,” I breathed.
We kissed—I didn’t know who initiated it, it just happened. Kind of like when we’d flirted at the bar.
Kind of like how we were falling in love, even though I didn’t think I should say it yet, even though I didn’t know if he felt that much, not yet.
“Nell’s mom,” I said, because I knew how to be romantic. “Is she still in the picture?”
“Dana?” Nash shook his head. “She was a tourist fling, didn’t tell me about the pregnancy until she gave up on parenting when Nell was almost a year old. Now she sends a stupid amount of child support every month and a birthday card every year. Hasn’t seen Nell since she left her here.”
That made me really sad, actually. I blinked fast. “That’s horrible.”
“Better to be an absent parent than a bad parent,” he said. “At least…that’s what I tell myself.”
“Are your parents like that?”
Nash smiled softly, but there was something sad in his eyes. “No, not at all. My parents loved each other hard and loved us just as much—me and Claire. Mom died of breast cancer a few years back. Dad followed her a year later, broken heart.”
I pressed my lips together. “They sound wonderful.”
“They were,” he said simply. “Best people I ever knew. My sister’s okay, too.”
We both laughed, and I curled up closer with him. “Speaking of which…do you need to go over to your sister’s to pick up Nell? And I hate to press the issue, but when are we going to tell her?”
Nash took a deep breath, then an even longer exhale. “Fuck if I know. I’ve never had to tell her about a girlfriend.”
I snorted. “Is that what I am?”
“At least until I make you my baby-mama.”
I laughed out loud then, burying my face in his chest. “That’s not an answer, Nash.”
“I know,” he said, lifting my chin. “But…the thing is, Nellie’s smart. She’s going to know something’s going on—and I don’t intend on keeping you a secret. You deserve better than that.”
“Okay,” I said, still totally lost as to what we would do next. “So…I just stay here and we explain sometimes grown-ups have sleepovers too? I think every bit of conventional wisdom would say that’s the wrong call.”
“You questioning my vibes-based parenting?”
“Lovingly.”
He scoffed, but he was smiling. “Noted—but here’s my thinking. Nell already knows you. Already adores you. You’re not a stranger I’m introducing; you’re Miss Laine, who braids her hair and lets her give dinosaur reports at circle time and has a drawing of Gerald on her wall.”
I frowned. “Who’s Gerald?”
“The dinosaur,” he clarified. “I’m sure you’ll be introduced soon. Point is, the conventional wisdom is about not introducing a random new person as a parental figure. You’re already a person she trusts. We’re just changing the context slightly.”
I looked at him.
He looked back, completely calm.
“You have actually thought about this,” I said.
