“No more so than any other human being.” He put his hand on her face again, firmer this time. “Laurie, you’re the strongest person I know.”
“I’m not strong.” Tears rolled down her face. “I’m just good at pretending.”
“That’s what strength is. Showing up and standing strong even when you’re scared.”
“If that’s what strength is, then I’m tired of being strong.”
“You don’t have to be strong with me.” At some point in their conversation, he had slipped out of his chair and onto the wooden floor of the lanai. He knelt in front of her, holding both of her hands in his, and now he bent his head to kiss the backs of her knuckles.
“When I’m with you, I don’t feel so afraid.”
“I do,” he said, but he was smiling. “I’m terrified.”
She pulled one hand away and put it on the side of his face. Laurie had long fingers, but even so, her hand barely reached the length of his jaw.
“You don’t have to be,” she said. “I’m not going anywhere.”
He put a hand over hers, then turned his face and kissed her palm.
“Get up off the floor,” she said after a moment. “Please.”
He rose up and sat beside her on the porch swing, one strong arm around her shoulders. She fit perfectly into the nook that he made.
She nestled her face into his neck, jaw resting just above his collarbone, and breathed in the warm smell of wood shavings and orange oil.
They sat there for a long time, rocking gently on the porch swing, with no need for words.
20
20 - Anne
One quiet weekday, Dawn found Anne alone in the kitchen – and immediately cornered her.
Anne was washing dishes, and she kept up the steady movement of plates through soapy water as her mother closed in.
Before losing her husband, Dawn had always kept her golden hair long. Now her silver hair was cropped short in a pixie cut. A new pair of glasses completed the look, stylish and oversized with pink-and-purple plastic frames.
Kimo’s death had destroyed her – very nearly killed her. But in the wake of that devastating loss, she had reinvented herself.
Anne admired that, and she was glad that Dawn had found a new lease on life.
At the same time, it was disorienting to see her mother so drastically changed.
Often it felt like she had lost both of her parents.
Her mother was still there – still in the same house, even – but they drifted past each other like orbiting bodies, never making contact.
Kimo had been the warm and effusive parent.He was the one Anne always ran to when she skinned her knee or when someone hurt her feelings. Without him there to soften his wife, she seemed almost frigid – and Anne never had the warmest relationship with her mother to begin with.
“We need to talk,” Dawn said.
Anne took a deep, deliberate breath.
Her mother was breaking up with her.
“You and the kids are always welcome here,” Dawn began, and Anne finished the thought for her.
“But no more house guests.”
