“He’s got two traumatized teens over there already. I love him, I do, but I’m not sure that our relationship could survive the combined chaos of both of our lives.”
“What’s even the point, if you’re not doing life together?”
“I love him,” she said again. “I enjoy spending time with him. Right now, what little time we get together is an escape from everything else. Those dates make me feel young again, even if it’s just for a few hours at a time. I don’t want to mess that up. Not yet.”
“So you want to mess it up eventually?” Oakley teased.
“I want to live with him eventually,” Anne shot back, kicking her with one bare foot beneath the table. “But I don’t want to complicate things yet. Not any more than they already are. It’s all plenty tangled already.”
“So what are you going to do?” Akemi asked. “Keep living with mom?”
Anne grimaced. “I don’t like that idea either. And she’s obviously lost all patience with my business endeavors.”
“You’ve made enough to move out, haven’t you?”
“Maybe. If I can find a new stream of income to replace what I’m doing here.”
“So what’s next?” asked Oakley.
“That,” Anne said slowly, “is an excellent question.”
12
Laurie
For the past year, Paradise Books had been a place of refuge for Laurie.
Her bookshop was a calm, organized space where she could work in peace. Kind people wandered in throughout the day, each one a welcome break from the eye-straining tedium of staring at a computer screen. It was a place that she loved, and a life she enjoyed.
That day, though, it felt as confining as a kennel.
She couldn’t stop thinking about Kekoa. His words ran through her mind over and over again – and with them, each minute detail of his facial expressions as he spoke. She could recall with perfect clarity the downturn of his mouth, the intensity of his gaze, the resignation in his eyes. It was even more clear in her memory than it had been in the moment, distracted as she had been by her own surprise and confusion.
It hurt to recall the raw vulnerability on that strong, beautiful face.
She wished that she had responded with more warmth… and more certainty.
He had resigned himself to friendship, when from the very beginning he had wanted something more. Then when she was finally ready to make that leap, he withdrew. Did he think that she was toying with him?
Laurie wanted to take offense, but how could she when his fear came from such depth of feeling? She couldn’t begrudge him a moment’s fear when her own cowardice had held her back for a full year.
Because the truth was, she felt the same way about him – and she had from the beginning. She had just been too wrapped up in her own trauma and anxiety to allow those feelings any purchase in her waking mind.
Kekoa had been so patient with her.
He had built her bookshop — quite literally – and continued to look out for her and care for her even after she made it clear to him that she wasn’t open to anything more than friendship.
She had kept him at arm’s length for an entire year.
Maybe she had missed her chance.
He basically proposed to you, her inner voice screamed.That’s not a man who’s over you. That’s a man who’s terrified to lose you. A man who won’t be toyed with. It’s the real thing, or it’s nothing. And that terrifies you.
She was going in circles in her head, too distracted to get any real work done.
Outside, the sky shone a perfect blue, punctuated by fluffy white clouds. Birds fluttered past the front window. And she sat inside, cut off from the sun, surrounded by musty old books.
Hey, are you busy?she texted Zoe.
