Wait, does Griffin want to have sex withme?
Now the excitement is overtaking the anxiety, and I really don’t know how to behave.We’re pulling into the driveway before I can get a grip on things.He cuts the engine and we’re sitting in awkward silence for a few moments.
“I don’t want shit to get weird, Casey,” he finally says, running a hand through his hair.“I’m sorry I said anything.”
“It’s okay.”He only made mylife.He shouldn’t be apologizing for it.“Are you not coming in…?”
“I think I’m gonna go down to the water for a little bit,” he says, averting his gaze.“Clear my head.”
My heart is pounding as I nod and reach for the door handle.“Things aren’t weird.Why would they be weird?Friends can think each other are hot.I promise.I mean, I think you’re hot as fuck too.And your truck too.See?Not weird.Just a fact.”
Griffin doesn’t look convinced as I push open the door and slip out.My knees feel like they’re made of glass as I walk to the front door and let myself in.Once the door shuts behind me, the silence of the house settles like deadweight.All the shock and confusion and glee from the past half hour presses at the back of my ribs, desperate to explode.
I really feel like I botched that whole thing.I fixate on Griffin’s words as I drift toward my bedroom, intent on getting a shower and settling onto the couch to relax after a long day on my feet.Since Griffin’s not here, I leave the bedroom door open.I’ve got plenty of time to get in and out of the bathroom before he gets home, especially if he’s going down to the water to think.He’ll probably need extra time to ponder based on what I gave him.Maybe up to five business days.
Some of the regret begins to settle in as I think about what I did—and didn’t—say to him.Come on Casey, you couldn’t even have told him that you think he’s incredible?You didn’t have to say he’s the man of your dreams even, you could have just gone with “awesome,” but instead you said nothing.You didn’t tell him how thoughtful he is, or sexy, or strong, or wonderful, or smart, or…
I sigh heavily as I shed my work clothes into a small pile at my feet.Once I’m fully nude, my gaze lands on the nightstand drawer.
An orgasm wouldreallyhelp things right now, that’s for damn sure.
It takes me about three seconds to convince myself to postpone my shower in favor of masturbation.Or better yet—combine them.
I let out an evil chuckle as I snatch the purple satin bag out of the drawer and dart into the bathroom, shutting the door behind me.This thing is supposedly waterproof, and I’m ready to test it.I turn the shower water on, enjoying the warm air that fills the bathroom.When the temp is just right, I slink past the shower curtain and let the water wash over me.Ahhhh.I take a few moments, letting my mind wander.It’s not hard to get myself in the mood after living with Griffin the past couple of weeks.
The man is an athlete, all strong lines and powerful muscle.He looks ripped from a magazine, or maybe a Greco-Roman museum display and his chiseled body is the ancient depiction of male perfection.
You’re my type.I still can’t believe he said that to me.He blasted a door open between us, and even though I want to run straight through it, I’m so conflicted.
If I start something with Griffin—if that’s even the reason he said that to me—then I stand tounattract him.When he sees the true me, the squeaky, crusty insides, the failures and the disappointments and the just-not-quite-enough-ness, he’ll be un-attracted.I am positive of this.
It’s happened with every man I’ve dated.It just happened to me with Jake.
I don’t want that to happen with Griffin, even though I desperatelywantGriffin.
I fire up my purple silicone vibrator.It’s the kind that’s both a vibratoranda clitoral slurping device, or whatever it’s called—I’m sure it has a better name than that, I just can’t remember what the packaging said.I’ve never used the slurping part before because I am very sensitive.I could probably get off just from squeezing my legs together while conjuring Griffin’s memory.
Despite how sensitive I am, I’ve never been with a man that could get me off.Explain that one.I usually only use vibrators, but something about tonight entices me to try the clit slurper.I’m entering a new frontier in my personal life, so why not enter a new frontier in my vibrator life?
The vibrator-slurper looks like a hook, and its intended target is my undercarriage.I arrange the clitoral part right over my love button and turn it on.
It immediately comes to life, a soft, gentle suction right over my clit that causes me to inhale sharply.It’s not so crazy, though, so I reposition it.Surely adding more vibe power behind the slurpinator is a good idea, so instead of going up a notch or two, I take it up five.
I must not have had it arranged properly the first time because this time, it latches onto my clit like a sea urchin onto a boulder.And it feelssodifferent, not at all the gentle flutter from before.My eyes go wide and my lips part, and everything in my body starts rioting with a pleasure too intense and unexpected.
I scream.
I rip the Slurpy5000 off myself at the same time my knees go out.I begin a graceless tumble onto the slick shower floor, so I grab the shower curtain in a bid for stability.It fails.Instead of stability I get ashhhhrrrriiiiipppp, followed by a pop and a clang,as the curtain rod disconnects from the wall and comes down with me.
My entire brain is full of exclamation points and half-formed curse words.What in the actual fuck is happening?I don’t have much time to think about it because my ass hits the floor with a loudthwump.If that wasn’t bad enough, my slippery ass slides against the slippery floor, and I fall onto my back.
My legs go into the air.The shower curtain is draped on top of me.The rod lies in shambles.And the water is streaming directly into my nose.
This couldn’t get worse.
Knock knock knock.
“Casey!Are you okay?”
