“You too.” I swallowed, glancing at Dex again. “I hope I’m not interrupting anything important.”
Papa Stew shook his head. “Not at all. Duke and I were just leaving.”
“Right.” Duke approached me and gave me a kiss on my cheek. “What’s up?”
“Nothing much.” I shrugged. “Ready for Spring.”
“You’ll have to come to opening day,” Papa Stew suggested. “We have a lot of fun. I’m trying to get Duke to commit to more games this year.”
Duke snickered. “That would be a negative, Pops. I’ll do my normal two games, thanks.” He looked at Dex. “We good?”
Dex nodded and the brothers gave each other their signature dap. “Yeah.”
Clasping Dex’s shoulder, Duke said, “Love you, man.”
“Love you too.”
I said my goodbyes to Duke and Papa Stew, then turned to Dex. Frowning, I asked, “What happened? Are you okay?”
He sighed. “Let’s just say Duke almost got his ass packed up.”
“Why?”
“He talks too much.” He lifted his eyes. “Enough about him, though.”
I nodded for no other reason than to stall. On the way there, I’d rehearsed an entire speech, one right out of a smutty romance novel. But I couldn’t remember a single thing I’d come up with in that moment.
“I’m glad you came,” Dex said, letting me off the hook. “I don’t want to talk here, though. Can we go back to your place?”
I squeezed the belt of my purse. “Sure.”
The ride home was quiet, no small talk, no anything. Silent and awkward. I’d even forgotten to turn on the music. Walking into my house felt like I was walking a plank. Despite my bravado earlier with Justus and Elise, my confidence slipped as soon as they’d left. Although I liked to think I’d made a lot of progress in that area, apparently, I still had work to do.
On the way to the bar, visions of every negative scenario plagued me. I found myself questioning my ability to make this relationship work.
How is this going to work?
I knew Dex hated long distance relationships. He liked proximity and I didn’t blame him. Because I did too. Even if I did expand the business, that could take years of commuting back and forth, weekend visits, missed flights or lacking video chats. Add to that, my track record wasn’t the best when it came to longevity with men.I could fuck this up.
What if he doesn’t believe me?
It was clear he didn’t trust me not to leave. That was my fault because I’d run from him before. Back then, it had never occurred to me thatIcould break someone’s heart, thatIcould be someone’s unrequited crush. Just thinking about it made me ache for him because I knew that pain all too well. Dex was one of the strongest people I knew, but everyone struggled with something.
Dex was the whole shit. Everything I’ve ever wanted in a partner—giving and kind. Gentle. A perfect gentleman and a fierce protector. He was low-key a genius. I respected him. I wanted him.I love him.
I locked the door and took a few cleansing breaths. That shit didn’t work, though. And I felt nervous, hesitant to say something that would derail my best intentions.
Again, Dex spoke first. “I was wrong. I thought I knew what was best for you, and I failed to consider whatyouwant, howyoufeel. This whole time, I’ve been trying to convince you that you’re worth more than you realize. I wanted you to know what it felt like to be chased, to be put above all else. I did it for many reasons, but mostly because you deserve it. Then, the moment things got hard, I used that as an excuse to walk away. I told myself that it was better for me to leave than to get left. I let my inner asshole take over because I was scared.”
The lump in my throat made it difficult to swallow. I held back tears that I’d promised myself I wouldn’t let fall. At least, not before I’d communicated everything he needed to know. “Scared of me? Of us?”
“Scared of losing you.” My eyes flashed to his. His expression softened. “Duke pointed it out today. As a result, I wanted to kick his ass. I didn’t want to see it, but he was right. Sometime between Justus’ wedding and today, probably even before that, I realized that I would be wrecked if I couldn’t spend the rest of my life loving you. ‘Cause I didn’t have tofallin love with you. I’vebeenin love with you. And I put my own shit, my own fears on you. That wasn’t fair.” He inched closer and trailed his fingers over my cheek. “Char, you’ve always told me you felt unworthy, unwanted. But that’s the last thing you are. You’re everything, and because of that, you’re worthy of me crossing state lines to be with you.”
Damn. I let out a slow, measured breath. The words I’d rehearsed earlier came back to me in a rush. I knew what I had to do; I knew what I had to say.
“To think I was going to tell you the same thing,” I confessed with a soft laugh.
He smirked. “You were going to cross state lines for me?”
