“Man, bye!” I argued. “You don’t know what you’re missing. Julia turned me on to the combination. Changed my life.”
“Key words…Yourlife.”
I laughed and it felt like a weight had been lifted. “Whatever.” I ate another piece of cake and sipped my tea. “Sit there and watch me, then. How about that?”
He smirked. “I’m good with that.”
When I finished my slice, I let out a heavy sigh. “I guess I better show my face, check on Mom.”
Dex stood. “Ready when you are.”
I took his outstretched hand and let him pull me to my feet. Peering up at him, I clutched his sweater with my fist. “Thanks for everything.” My eyes dropped to his mouth. “I appreciate you.”
He smiled. “You know I got you.”
“You do, don’t you?”
“Always.” He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me close to him. “You never have to ask.”
The haze of grief had pretty much ensured that our conversations had been solely centered on me, what I needed and what my family needed. Dex had availed himself to all of us and I was grateful. At the same time, it almost felt like our interlude the night of the wedding had been a bomb-ass dream. Even though I still remembered everything about that night, Dex seemed unphased. I should’ve been happy that things weren’t awkward. And I was. Yet… part of me wanted him to be a little uncomfortable. After years of friendship, we’d crossed a line. We deliberately walked into unchartered territory, and I couldn’t stop thinking about it, or imagining what it would’ve been like to be with him entirely.Did he feel the same way?
Maybe it was because I didn’t quite trust myself with him or with anyone for that matter? My last several relationships had ended with hurt feelings. Namely, mine. Maybe I was hesitant because there was still a part of me that didn’t quite believe he could want me? I mean… he hadn’t mentioned it since. He’d been there, but he hadn’t tried to cop a feel, kiss me, or even…What if he gave me a pity orgasm?
The best thing to do would be to ask. Yet, for some reason, I was completely comfortable beating around the bush with Dex. All that bravado that prompted me to ask him to make me come had disappeared. I couldn’t even bring myself to ask him to kiss me. And I couldn’t kiss him. A therapist might call it fear of rejection, but I just called it scared as hell.
But this was Dex. He was one of the best people I knew. Logically, I knew we would be okay after we had the conversation because I trusted him. But…
“What’s wrong?” he asked, pulling me from my thoughts.
I bit down on my lip and decided to just say it. “Why is that?” He raised a questioning brow and I continued, “Why are you always here for me?” I leaned my forehead against his warm chest. “Never mind. That sounded stupid.”
He chuckled. “Char?”
Damn, his voice… The way he said my name. I hadn’t noticed before, but it was endearing, seductive. “Hot.”
He frowned. “Hot?”
Shit. Without looking at him, I said, “It’s hot.”
I pray that you feel his love so deep it warms you on even the coldest nights. Julia’s words replayed through my mind on an endless loop. Everything seemed to click. She’d told me that she suspected that my man was someone I already knew. Could she have been referring to Dex? The bitter cold of the morning hadn’t penetrated because he’d sheltered me. He’d lent me some of his warmth.
“You’re hot,” I whispered.
He smirked. “Okay?”
“I mean, your body heat. It’s… hot,” I stammered. “I never feel cold when you’re around. It just reminded me of something Julia told me.”
“Did you want to ask me something?”
I shook my head. “No. I didn’t want to ask you anything? I just… I want…” Since I obviously couldn’t use my words, I kissed him.
For the past few days, I’d experienced several emotions, but grief had been the dominant one. With one touch of his lips to mine, every tear, every ache, all the sadness disappeared. I welcomed the flood of excitement and desire mixed with adoration and lust. The intense hum in my veins, the pounding of my heart in my ears made me feel free, alive. I wanted to bottle this feeling, I wanted to tuck it in my pocket and keep it with me forever.I wanted him.
My legs shook and I thought they would buckle, but his strong arm held me up, cradling me against him. Licking. Kissing. Sucking. I shuddered when he moaned my name, I trembled when he gripped my hair in his fist and pulled me closer. I feathered my fingers over the waist of his pants, tempted to take it further, tempted to pull him back on the mattress so he could ease the ache in my core. He was everything, and I wanted nothing more than to hold on to him.
My fingers lingered over the button of his slacks. “Tell me to stop,” I whispered against his lips.
He shook his head and pressed his mouth to mine. But before I could follow through, before I could drop to my knees and taste him, a soft knock on the door dampened the haze.
