“I love Maya with everything in me. I was born to make her happy.”
I lifted her palm to my mouth and kissed it. “I don’t want you to go.”
“It’s time, Pretty. I don’t want any more medicine. I just want to rest. But I need to tell you something.”
My heart pounded in my ears. “Okay” was the only word I could get out.
“Look at me.” I met her gaze. “You are worthy, my sweet Pretty. And you are so wanted by your mother. Never let anyone tell you different.”
I sobbed openly. “Mama J,” I whimpered. “You got me over here crying like a baby.”
She laughed. “So what. It’s just me.”
I picked up a Kleenex and wiped my face. “Thank you for saying that.”
“It’s true.” She cupped my chin. “You deserve every happiness in the world. My wish is that you find a love so strong, so pure, so tender… I pray that you feel his love so deep it warms you on even the coldest nights. Don’t feel like you have to be on anyone else’s timeline. And don’t ever settle for less than you deserve.”
“I won’t,” I promised.
“Promise me,” she pressed.
“I won’t,” I repeated.
“I have a feeling your man is already in your life. You just need to open your eyes to see him. It may not happen right away, but when it does, don’t run from it. Embrace it.” She closed her eyes. “Take care of your mother. She’ll need you. Make sure she knows I loved her until my dying breath and beyond. Be there for Harper. He won’t ask. Justus, Elise, Jay, Isis, little Ellis… All of you are mine. I love you. So much. Remember that.”
“I’ll never forget.”
“Love you,” she mouthed one last time. A few minutes later, she drifted off again. And I watched her sleep until I fell asleep holding her hand as her favorite movie played in the background.
Early the next morning,while we were sleeping, Julia passed away. Harper didn’t make it in time to say his goodbyes, but she’d left him a handwritten note which brought him some solace. After everything was said and done, after the visitors left, after the house was calm, after my mother was in bed resting, I went to the only person I needed in that moment.
Dex swung his door open, and I walked right into his arms. He held me for a moment before he pulled me inside and closed the door.
ChapterSix
SHELTER
Charlye
The ache in my gut only intensified as the days passed. Yet, I kept it moving because my mother needed me. Instead of planning the memorial, Mom had checked out and retreated to her room, leaving me to handle all the details. The only reason I was able to push through it was because of the man currently sitting next to me.
Dex had been present from the moment I’d gone to him after Julia died. He hadn’t said anything that night. He simply held my hand and let me cry. And I cried—for my mother, my brothers, my sisters, and for me. Because we’d lost our mother. We never called her a stepmother because she was more than that. She was my Mama J. And I would miss her terribly.
Then, he’d offered his help. Since my mother wasn’t in the right place to do it, Dex and Mama V had accompanied me to the funeral home to set up the cremation. In a few weeks, me and my siblings would accompany Mom to Hawaii, Julia’s home state. While there, we planned to spread her ashes in the beautiful Pacific waters, off the coast of Kauai.
Instead of a traditional memorial service, Julia had requested that we have an intimate gathering at Gallup Park in Ann Arbor. Even though it was the coldest day of the winter, we celebrated her life under her favorite tree. And the entire time, Dex had held my hand, offering his wordless support and his warmth.
Later, a small group gathered at Mom’s house for the repast where we served all of Julia’s favorites. Because Julia thought every black funeral should have fried chicken. After too many forced smiles and countless hugs, I retreated to the guest room where I’d last spoken to Mama J.
The room had been transformed back to the state it was before hospice had turned it into a makeshift hospital room. Instead of the mechanical bed, there was a queen-sized bed. The oxygen machine was gone, the medical supplies had been returned, the medicine had been recycled. The television was off.
I ran my hands over the crocheted blanket at the end of the bed. It was the first gift I’d bought Julia. I remembered the smile on her face when I’d presented it to her. The woman who’d made it had messed up and I was so pissed. I hated that damn blanket, but Julia loved it. When I asked her why, she’d told me “I love that you even thought of me, so I’ll cherish this forever.”
A tear fell and I brushed it away. “You would be happy to know that Harper took it better than even I thought he would,” I said aloud. I knew she wasn’t there physically, but I still felt her presence. “But we all miss you. Mom’s not okay now. But she will be. I’ll see to that. I promise.”
I plopped down on the recliner and closed my eyes. Several minutes passed before I heard a knock on the door.
“Come in.” I opened my eyes to see Dex walk in. “Hey.”
