“I like to think I’m a happy medium between you and Mom.”
“Whatever you say.”
I blew out a slow breath. “Okay, I do love him.”
“So why aren’t you with him now? Why isn’t he here with us?”
I shrugged. “Because…I don’t know. It’s over.”
“Obviously it’s not if you’re on this expensive yacht and walking around here like a zombie.”
“I feel free when I’m with him,” I explained. “It started one way and ended with me not even caring that I was selected to be in the organization. From the moment I found out, the only thing I could think about was him and how this would change things between us.”
“It doesn’t have to,” Dad said.
“What if it does?”
“You’ll never know.” He sighed. “I know about you and Zeke.”
My eyes flashed to his. “What? Why didn’t you say anything?”
“I wanted you to come to me. But when you didn’t, I figured you’d found someone else to confide in.”
“Not really.”
“I hate to think you’ve been hiding from meaningful relationships because of guilt, because you think you don’t deserve to be loved. Zeke was one of my favorite people, but his death was an unfortunate accident. There was nothing you could’ve done to change that.”
Tears flowed freely now, and I wiped them away with my sleeve. “I broke his heart.”
“But you weren’t driving the car.”
“I just hate the thought of him thinking I didn’t love him before he died.”
“He knew.” My father scooted his chair close to mine and hugged me. “But let me ask you a question. Does Preston know?”
I looked up at him and shook my head. “I didn’t tell him.”
Dad rubbed my hair, much like the way he’d done when I was a kid. “Well, I think it’s time to remedy that.” He cupped my cheek in his palm. “You’re my little fixer. You’ve always been steady, strong. You come in the room and people breathe a sigh of relief because they know you have it all under control. So how about you fix your own life?”
My father was right. I’d spent too much time hiding from my own feelings. If one of my siblings had acted the way I did, I would’ve told them to get their shit together. So, it was way past time for me to take my own advice. Now, I knew what I had to do.
Chapter Fifteen
U 2 Luv
Preston
“Idon’t understand why you didn’t just tell her how you felt.” Cooper leaned back in his chair. “That’s some coward-ass shit right there.”
I glared at my best friend. “Says the man who literally just got his head out of his ass long enough to get Angel back.”
Coop shrugged. “That’s why I can say this.”
Shaking my head, I finished the email I’d been typing when Coop had shown up. “I’m good on the advice. Besides, we don’t do this.”
“That’s because you’re stubborn as hell. And you still haven’t told me why you didn’t tell her how you felt.”
The answer to that question was simple. I didn’t say anything because I didn’t think she wanted it. “She was ready for this to end, and she brought it back to the agreement. If she wanted more, she would’ve said something.” I’d told myself that every day since she left, and it still didn’t make me feel better. While I’d known the arrangement was temporary, I thought I’d have a little more time to spend with her, to convince her to take a chance on us. “Since she didn’t, I had to let her go.”
