The sun rises over the trees and birds peck through the seed in the feeders. Years ago, Paige insisted we feed the birds. We added a shepherd’s hook and then another, and then another. Next came the bird bath, followed by the fountain, which lead into a whole babbling brook being installed in our backyard.
Paige no longer feeds the birds. Josie does or I will when I’m home. Today, it falls on me because my wife had to rudely leave before the sun even rose, to go work on a wedding arrangement. The groom called in a last-minute change and instead of my wife saying no, she bent and told him no problem. I must suck as a groom because I don’t remember a single flower at our wedding. I only remember my bride and how she looked coming down the aisle. She was fucking gorgeous.
Still is.
Paige comes outside, with a granola bar in her hand, telling me she’s leaving for school. “Mack’s taking me this morning.”
I groan but nod. He’s a good kid and he’s someone I would do anything for. I just wish they weren’t dating.
“Doesn’t he have practice?”
“Not until later,” she says. “Elle and Ben are due back today, so he’ll go to grandpa’s to get Beau and then to Noah’s for Stevie Nicks.” Grandpa being Mason’s dad, Michael. He’s another man who should’ve kicked me out of his life, but didn’t, and I should make sure he doesn’t need anything.
Mack has been walking Beau since he was a puppy, and it was only natural that he did the same with Stevie Nicks when Noah and Peyton moved to town. During Mack’s seasons, he generally walks the dogs in the morning.
“All right. I’ll see you at the studio later?”
“I wouldn’t miss it,” she says. “After the weekend, there’s bound to be a lot of drama people need to unpack to a complete stranger.”
I stare at her for a moment. Those words sting. Finally, I shake my head. “Remember who pays your bills.”
Paige laughs. “Don’t worry. I won’t.” She kisses me on my cheek. “Bye, Daddy. Have a good day.”
“You too.”
My mother is sitting at the island with her coffee when I come in. She looks at me, smiles, and goes back to reading the newspaper, which isn’t something we get delivered.
“Where’d that come from?”
“Mack brought it for me. He’s such a good boy.”
“He is.”
“They’re in love, ya know.”
I know but refuse to acknowledge it. I fill my mug and turn to look at her. “I was in love when I was Mack and Paige’s age.”
Her hand stills. I know what I’ve said has upset her. It was a low blow.
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. You’re right. You were in love and your father and I didn’t support you.” She closes the paper and looks at me. “Worse, we kept your son from knowing who his family is. Thoseare moments in my life that I can’t get back and will continue to regret.”
“In your defense?—”
“In my defense, I was a drunk. I allowed a man to manipulate and control me. What I thought was love, was abuse. That abuse transferred to you. I lived in fear. Watching you walk out, seeing Josie at the door and in the supermarket with Noah—that was the catalyst for change. The day you returned for Mason’s funeral, was the day I knew I had to change or I was going to die a bitter old woman.”
“Thank you . . . for changing.”
“Short of giving birth to you, it’s been the best damn decision of my life. Well, you accepting me into your life is up there as well. Because of you, I have friends in Michael and Tess, a beautiful family, and I’m a great grandma. I wasn’t the best mother, but you can be damn sure, I’m going to be the best grandma I can be.”
I sniff hard and turn away to clear my throat. We’re quiet for a long moment.
“Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?”
I fill my mug even though it doesn’t need it and then do the same for her. “Nothing’s wrong.”
“I heard the caller,” she says, not elaborating on which one.
