I touch his shoulder on the way past and answer before the call goes to voicemail. “Hey Prime.”
“Deanna where are you?”
“Is something wrong?”
“No, but I want to make sure you’re okay.”
“I’m with my parents. If you don’t need me?—“
“Wait. Don’t hang up.”
I hear a note of worry as I slip into my bedroom. It really is strangely bare, although my bed’s still against the wall. I sit on the edge, biting my fingernails. I used to chew on them a lot when I was younger and I thought I’d kicked the habit.
Guess Prime brings the worst out in me.
“I don’t want to talk,” I say softly, in case Yolanda can hear.
“You weren’t supposed to see the body. I didn’t want that to happen.”
“It’s fine.”
“I know it isn’t. Deanna, I want you to come home.”
“I can’t right now. My parents are doing good and I want to be here for a while.”
“I didn’t want to drag you into that. I’ve been trying to spare you.”
“Prime, stop.”
“You’re not a killer, Deanna. What happened to that man, I did it. I pulled the trigger. I’d pull it again, a thousand more times if I had to. I’ll do anything to protect you. But don’t let his blood hang in your conscience, do you understand?”
“Please.” I close my eyes and hug myself. “Prime.”
“You’re a good person. I told you, I’m beyond saving. I’m dangerous for everyone around me. But you know what’s the worst part? I still want you here. Even knowing I’ll ruin you, I need you, Deanna. I need you to come home.”
“Not right now. I just… I need some time.”
“I’ll be close.”
“Prime—“
“I’ll be watching. When you’re ready, I’ll be there.”
He hangs up. I let the phone slide from my fingers. Emotions fight in my core, the constant struggle. Fear at what I’m becoming. The desire to go running back to him. I could let Prime wrap his arms around me and I wouldn’t think anymore. I want to give myself over to him.
But the corpse haunts me.
I’ve never killed anyone before. I’ve never hurt anyone either. And Prime’s right, I still haven’t, but I’m his wife and I’m a part of this revenge story he’s working through. How can I live with myself if I let him get hurt in the process? What will I do ifhe’s gone? The money will be there—but is the money all I need anymore?
I return to the kitchen. Mom’s helping Dad with some simple puzzles he likes and I join in. He’s in a good mood now that he’s got something to concentrate on and isn’t paying attention to the people around him. I find myself relaxing and Mom laughs a few times and even Dad smiles, and I want my life to be like this, except there’s a hole in my chest, and I catch myself wishing Prime were here too.
Wishing I had a killer by my side.
Someone rings the doorbell. Yolanda goes to answer, but I hurry past her. “Don’t worry, I got it.” She seems uncertain but I wait until she recedes to the kitchen before opening. “Prime, I told you?—“
Except my husband’s not standing on the front step.
Carbone gives me a flat, unhappy smile. “Hello, Mrs. Spadaro. Think I could have a moment of your time?”
