With a groan, I get the suitcase up to my bedroom and toss it near the closet. Now that’s her problem to deal with. Satisfied, I amble back down the steps, only to find my wife standing in the doorway of the game room holding two wine glasses.
“Reminiscing?”
She flinches around. “No, I wasn’t, I mean?—“
“Oh wow, you really were. Deanna, my darling bride, you’re positively blushing right now.”
“Shut up, Prime.”
“You’re picturing my beastly mouth between your legs?—“
“Shutup,Prime!”
“And you’re panting with heat as you remember the way my tongue?—“
“I swear I’ll throw this in your face if you don’t cut it out.”
“And will you lick it off me? While I let it drip down to my hard dick?”
She steps forward, eyes ablaze, but there’s not only anger in the way she’s giving me a death stare.
No, my prim and proper executive assistant is practically radiant with how bad she wants to fuck me.
She places one glass in my hands then lets her fingers trail down my chest.
“Prime, husband of mine, if your dick ever gets near my mouth, I’ll bite it the fuck off.” She flicks my right nipple. “Are we understood?”
“Baby, you know I like it when you’re mean to me.”
“God, you’re such an idiot.” She’s smiling as she walks away. I let myself enjoy the soft sashay of her hips before rubbing that damn tension spot again. My headache’s even worse now. I take a long drink, hoping the alcohol will help ease it.
I find Deanna hunched over the table. Light spills from the large back windows. It nestles in her long, dark hair, and I’ve never noticed the auburn highlights before, and the way it waves down to the edges. I never noticed the turn of her chin, the quick of her lips, that sexy-and-angry look she’s giving me?—
“What?” she asks. “You’re staring at me.”
“Your shirt’s on backward.” I walk over and join her as she quickly checks to make sure I’m lying.
“Real mature.” She spreads the papers in front of her and nudges a few toward me. “Are you ready to be a grown up now?”
“What’s all this?” I pick one up and start to read.This Prenuptial Agreement is made and entered into this __ day of __, 2026, by and between Prime Spadaro (“Prospective Husband”) and Deanna Esposito (“Prospective Wife”), collectively referred to herein as the “Parties.” WHEREAS, the Parties contemplate marriage…and on and on, an avalanche of legalese that manages to make my life sound maximally boring and unsexy.
“This is protection.” She frowns, clicks a pen, and makes a mark. “Read it.”
“No thanks.” I brush the page aside. “Sounds terrible.”
“Prime, this isn’t a joke. It’s a serious, legally binding prenuptial agreement.”
“Aren’t we supposed to sign that before we get married? I seem to remember kissing you in front of a priest.”
“Yeah, I seem to remember a room full of pissed off people watching a murder happen in real time too.” Deanna chews the nub of her pen. “Look, seriously, can you please read it? I don’t want you whining to a judge in ten years about how I forced you to sign at gunpoint or something crazy.”
“I wouldn’t do that.”
“Maybe not but still, it’s for both our protection.”
“My word’s my bond. You know what the deal is. Write this monstrosity however you want. Fuck me over if that’s what you’re into.”
She stops biting the pen. “I’d never.”
