At lunch, I stayed in my office and pulled out my laptop. I finished adding my notes and now there was just the handful of pages I’d already written.
I started typing and allowed myself to tinker with words and phrasing. Before I knew what was happening, I ran out of prewritten pages and I just kept... going. I kept going for so long that I didn’t hear the knockat the door or notice the broad figure standing in the doorway with his hands in his pockets.
When I finally paused for a second, the clacking of the keys broke long enough for me to realize that Eli was there.
He ran a hand up the back of his neck and then against the grain of his hair. My fingers tickled with the memory of how good his hair felt brushing against my skin.
I slammed the laptop shut and shuffled papers on top of it like I’d been caught. “Hi.” So smooth.
He motioned with his chin. “I take it I won’t have to throw that into the pool?”
I stood up and brushed the crouton crumbs from my salad off my dress. “You shouldn’t have done that, Eli. It was too generous.”
He shrugged. “I hope you like it. I wouldn’t have thrown it into the pool if you needed to exchange it, but I guess I forgot to include that in my note.”
“Haven’t you ever been told that it’s not fair to buy people extravagant gifts because then they feel like they need to buy you something equally as extravagant in return?”
He rocked back on his heels. Eli Buckley was fidgeting. Eli Buckley was not a fidgeter. “That sounds like a made-up rule.”
“Thank you,” I told him again.
He bowed his head once in lieu of sayingYou’re welcome. “I came by to let you know I’m going by the apartment. I accidentally had a package delivered there this afternoon. So just in case you see me lurking.”
“Thanks for the heads-up. Marlon will be happy to see you lurking.”
“I’ve missed him,” he told me, his eyes cutting down to the floor and then back to me.
“He’s missed you too.”
Decomposition Day 34
The invitations were ordered. Hollis took care of the cake. And I’d written twenty-six pages of words. Not necessarily good words. But words.
The story was heading in a weird direction, and I had to turn off the voice in my head that said no one would ever want this, especially someone who was trying to decide if they could make money off it. It was the same part of me that had absorbed all the closed-door discussions I’d seen Brody sit through about strategically choosing the next project and answering creative questions with business solutions.
So I pretended I was writing a story to entertain myself. Like I was reading a book I couldn’t put down. I was the creatorandthe audience.
I couldn’t let myself consider what came after typingThe End, but I couldn’t ignore the fact that for so long, it felt like I had deferred my dreams. ThatThe Wunderkindwould still have its moment when the time was right. It was what I would console myself with when I was feeling restless or left behind. But maybe I had to kill that dream to make room for a new one.
Decomposition Day 41
Leonard had donated most of the soil created by his body to a nature preserve near Palm Springs, but he had requested that those who would like to memorialize him take the Palm Springs Aerial Tramway to the top of Mount San Jacinto State Park and scatter a small amount of soil there so that he could always overlook the town he’d loved for so long.
“Are we even allowed to scatter remains in a state park?” I asked as Ruby and I rode the tram.
Ruby lifted her chin proudly. “We scattered your mother’s ashes in Disneyland and managed not to get banned. I’m pretty sure sprinkling some dirt on a mountain is fine.”
I sat back and nodded. We would meet Leonard’s nephew and his family at the top, scatter some soil, and then eat lunch at the restaurant up top. It wasn’t a bad way to celebrate a life.
Over the last week, as I continued writing into the new year, I toggled between writing and transcribing Leonard’s work anytime I felt stuck. What he wrote was so far off from my own work, but sometimes I would read something that would spur a new thought or send me down a rabbit hole. In a way, it felt like being back in his writing workshop again. It made my heart ache as much as it comforted me.
When the tram stopped, Ruby took my hand to steady herself and I guided her through the doors.
It was at least thirty degrees cooler up here, and I was thankful that we’d all bundled up before leaving. Most would have considered it to be a nice, cloudless day, but it was absolutely frigid by Southern California standards.
We followed the off-loading crowd up the steps. Hollis and I let Ruby lead the way.
I saw him before he saw me.
