“That wasn’t what really set me off, though. It was that Leonard knew I was being used as a beard, and he didn’t just tell me. I would have happily played along! But instead, I let myself be charmed by the most charismatic man.” She shook her head.
“Would I know him by name?”
She laughed to herself. “Oh, every person in this country knows him by name.”
“What! Are you serious? Who was it?”
She zipped her lips and shook her head.
“If I guess his name, will you tell me?”
She shrugged. “What I will say is that he was a perfect gentleman, so I should have known better than to think he was straight.”
“Jack Nicholson?”
She took a moment to examine her nails, which I took as a clearGuess again.
“Okay, fine, I’ll save my theories for later. But how does Hollis fit into all of this?”
“We walked out of the lawyer’s office this morning and I spent the whole ride home airing my grievances. I’m sure you think there’s something meaningful behind Leonard and his will, but it’s just him getting the last word, I assure you.”
“Or maybe it was Leonard’s attempt to acknowledge how important you were to him. And who knows how long you’ll be managing his properties? I don’t think he was considering time when he made this decision. Knowing Leonard, this was all about symbolism. No matter how wide the chasm between you both grew, he trusted you. And now you have his will to prove it.”
The waitress brought her drink and Ruby nodded a thank-you.
“That’s what Hollis said. And then she asked me to marry her.” She closed her eyes as though she was remembering the moment. “‘Marry me for a day or a thousand,’ she told me. ‘I just want the paper trail to say that you and I loved each other.’”
“And you chickened out again?”
Her gaze cut over to me. “I think I prefer the quiet.”
“Why not say yes, Ruby?” I asked. Now the tables were turned and I was the one who couldn’t make sense of her decision—or indecision. “You love each other. The stars have aligned. The timing is right. Finally.”
“It’stooperfect,” she said, her voice small as she nursed her drink. “I can’t stand the thought of it being over. Whether it’s me who goes first or her. Both possibilities hurt too much. I don’t want to be a widow, and goddamn it, it’s selfish, I know, but I get jealous at the mere thought of her living without me. Not because I’m jealous ofher. I would choose Hollis’s life over mine every day if I had to. But I am jealous of all the people who would still be able to enjoy her company. The only way this whole story ends is when one of us dies, and that’s not somewhere either of us can follow the other to.”
“And how does a signed piece of paper change that?” I asked, the thought of Eli and his offer to move in with him tickling the far reaches of my brain. “Love has got you fucked either way. You might as well call her your wife.”
Ruby pursed her lips, eyes trained ahead on the rows of liquor bottles behind the bar.
“There’s no happiness without pain,” I said, speaking to myself as much as I was to her. “And I’m starting to think that saying what you want out loud—putting a name to it, letting it be something you stand to lose—makes the joy of having it so much sweeter.”
“When did you become so emotionally intelligent?” She sighed. “I’ll have to find the perfect shade of ivory. I will not risk looking putrid on my wedding day.” Then she tossed me her keys. “And you’re driving us home. I am, as the kids say, wasted.”
Chapter Fifty-Six
As I drove us back to Starlight Palms in Ruby’s car, she explained that Leonard had indeed chosen a natural burial. It would take forty days for his body to be composted into soil.
Today was day six.
He had requested that Ruby and I be present when his soil was spread. I could do that for him.
All good stories have a wedding and a funeral. It seemed that my time at Starlight Palms would have both.
Hollis sat waiting on Ruby’s couch when we returned.
“Yes,” Ruby said the moment she walked in the door, like she was announcing a ceasefire.
Hollis hardly noticed me as she stood and berated Ruby with questions about where she’d been and told Ruby how she had been so, so worried and that if they got married, Hollis was too old for this kind of worrying.
