“Sure feels that way.” She scoffed with fury. “Because you’restanding there thinking you know the truth, at least some warped version of it, one I didn’t give you and yet, somehow, here we are.” Her arms shot out to her sides in disbelief.
I parted my lips to say that wasn’t true, but held back. At that moment, I wanted her to lash out, get everything off her chest, and if that meant taking her anger out on me, then so be it. I’d be her punching bag if that’s what she needed.
“I can’t believe for a single second you thought I’d start an OpenVeil account.” She dropped her chin for a second, rubbing her temples in disbelief, before the fire was back in her veins, lighting its fuse. “You have no fucking clue what I’ve lived through, what I’ve survived, or how it fucking feels knowing every guy you pass on the street, in a store, or at work might have seen you naked on the internet. You can’t imagine what it feels like to realize guys were getting off to you while you sleep, change, shower, and . . . other private moments.” Her voice cracked as she listed them off on her fingers. “You can’t fathom what it feels like to realize the person you let into your life and trusted, secretly recorded you in your home.My home!” she screamed. “It’s the worst kind of betrayal. I allowed him into my life at a time when I was vulnerable, so shame on me, yes, I’m aware.”
“No. Don’t do that. Don’t for one second put any of the blame on yourself.”
“How can I not? He manipulated me, used me, and the whole time I had no fucking idea. What does that say about me?”
“Lily—” A level of rage I didn’t know I was capable of tore through me as I wanted to wipe the earth free of the scum that did this to her.
“You need to leave. I can’t do this right now.” She clutched her chest as her breathing turned erratic.
“Not a fucking chance in hell am I going anywhere,” I said, rounding the bed to bridge the gap, knowing full well her words were meant to sting, to push me away, and prevent me from seeing her breakdown.
“Then I will,” she said, trying to sidestep me.
But I caught her shoulders and, with a few steps, gently pinned her with her back against the wall. “Not so fast.”
She pushed her palms into my chest with force and tried to push me away.
“No, don’t touch me. Let me go,” she protested.
“Lily.” I dropped my hands to my sides, but didn’t step away. “Would you just stop for a second and hear me out?” I did my best to remain calm and kept my voice even-keeled.
“What? So you can change your assumption?” Her jaw was tight while her fists were balled with fury pulsating against my chest.
“No, so you can hear me when I say, I didn’t know you had an account on that adult website.”
Her breath hitched. “But you said?—”
“What I said was, Cameron got rid of it. The rest that followed, and regretfully fumbled out of my mouth, was wrong. I shouldn’t have implied it was you who put yourself out there; that was my bad, and I’m so very sorry.”
Her sullen eyes searched mine for validity.
I placed my hands over hers, which were still on my chest. “Truthfully speaking, I didn’t know what the fuck was going on until you just said it now. Cameron was vague with me earlier, saying it wasn’t his story to share. Just to tell you it’s been taken care of. It’s gone.”
“Gone?” Desperation flooded her eyes, pleading, yet equal parts disbelieving.
“Yes, it’s gone,” I affirmed and saw the exact second a crack appeared in the darkness that she’d harbored, and allowed relief to take its place. “Cameron rhymed off a bunch of technical jargon but basically said he wiped it from the internet, dark web?—”
Lily let out an unfiltered, heartbreaking sob that gutted me to the core. Her knees gave out beneath her as she crumbled. We collapsed together in a tangled heap against the wall. Her body hunched over mine, trembling as the emotions spilled out of her with a relentless force that had me questioning how long she’d been holding her breath.
How long had she spent looking over her shoulder, afraid someone might recognize her?
Did Arizona know?
Sadly, I had a sinking feeling that Lily had been carrying this all alone, in silence, for far too long. The weight of that realization hit me hard as I rubbed her back with slow, reassuring circles. Hoping to ground her to the present, wanting her to know I was here, and I wasn’t going anywhere.
Not now. Not ever.
While her body fought exhaustion, mine was wired with so much adrenaline pumping hard through me, it was a small wonder she couldn’t feel the tremor beneath her. I’d always known there was more to Lily’s past. From the locks on her front door to the apprehensive way she looked around her condo after the construction on her bathroom was completed. Now it all made sense, looking back. The idea that she didn’t feel safe in her own home was a weighted pit in my stomach.
A person’s home should always be their safe place.
Arizona and my mom urged me to be patient, to let Lily come to me, but things had changed. I needed the whole picture.I needed to know everything she hadn’t said because without it, I couldn’t protect her, and I wouldn’t risk losing her to something I didn’t see coming.
I’d rather she be mad at me than disappear again.
