Jaxon leaned his head against my shoulder.
“I guess his return to London tipped someone off because that’s when he started drinking heavily. Apparently, there were anonymous letters sent to our house, too, but I didn’t know about those until the day we left.”
“What did they say? Do you know?”
“I know what he wanted me to think.” I sighed, feeling the resentment of my dad’s betrayal surfacing.
“Which was?”
“That my life was in danger.”
“Fuck!” Jaxon groaned.
“That morning of our graduation, he showed me photos . . . photos of me sneaking out to see you, photos of you on the football field during practice, photos of us around town. He said people were after him, and that they had threatened to kidnap me to make him pay for destroying the family of the patient who died on his operating table. But that wasn’t the truth; it was just how he spun it to manipulate me.”
“How so?”
“He said losing his career had nearly destroyed him—but losing his family was something he wouldn’t allow. It was absolutely non-negotiable in his mind. He did what he had to do to keep my mom and me under his control. Even when it meant destroying what I loved most—you.” Under the weight of everything I’d buried, my throat tightened as I tried to keep speaking. “He concocted a lie and used my devotion as a weapon, threatening your life if I didn’t comply with his demands.” I choked on a sob as my hands started shaking.
“You have to know, Jaxon, I didn’t want to leave.” The words barely escaped me. “I didn’t, I promise.” Tears streamed down my face, blurring my surroundings. “I just . . . I couldn’tbear the thought of something happening to you; Icouldn’t. I wanted to run away with you. Just you. Always you.” My body curled inward, trembling uncontrollably as the pain inside me shattered the silence and spilled out into the cold night air.
Jaxon rubbed my back softly with purpose, allowing me a safe space to bare my sins, but it felt like an uphill battle as my mind still spiraled, fearful he’d never look at me the same again.
“What was the hardest decision of my life became my worst decision once I finally learned the truth.” Admitting that out loud for the first time was gut-wrenching, yet brutally honest and freeing.
Years of being haunted by my choice, questioning my decision every day, and eventually learning about the manipulation had been devastating and taken its toll. But as I shared my story with Jaxon, I knew the only path before us was forward.
No one could change the past.
But I had the power to bring it into the light and release its hold over me.
“What was the truth?” Jaxon’s voice was tentative, softly prompting me to continue.
“A private investigator had found him despite changing our last names, and instead of facing the consequences of his actions, he chose to run again. My dad had never been looking out for me at all; he staged everything, the photos, the letters.”
“Jesus Christ,” Jaxon murmured behind me.
“I’m so sorry, Jaxon. I’m so sorry I hurt you.” I tried to steady my breathing, but it didn’t matter; I could feel panic tightening around my ribs.
“Lily—”
I pushed myself to my feet and away from his grasp, wrapping my arms around myself. The emotional weight of it all wascrushing. My hands trembled, and my hearing suddenly sounded like I was underwater. It was still a lot to process after years of being lied to by my parents. The betrayal cut deep. It made me feel weak and insignificant. Broken. And it was when I was in that mindset, fragile and vulnerable, that I let my guard down and walked mindlessly into a different kind of ruin.
My knees gave out beneath me just shy of the railing, but Jaxon was right there to catch me. He hoisted me up into his strong and capable arms like the shining knight I remembered. But I didn’t deserve this level of compassion and understanding.
I hadn’t earned it.
“No, Jaxon. I need to go. I-I need to leave,” I stuttered, struggling to breathe between gut-wrenching sobs.
“You want to leave?” There was no hiding the pain behind his words. “Again?”
“No, I don’t, but you need time.”
“Time for what, exactly? We’ve already lost too much.”
“Time to process. Time to digest. Time to decide if you can forgive me or not.”
Jaxon lowered my feet to the ground and moved his hands to cup my cheeks, softly brushing my tears away with his thumbs while he held my attention with his piercing hazel-hued eyes.
