“So you’re a nurse?” Jaxon broke the awkwardness as we sat on the edge of the deck in his backyard.
“I am.”
“How long?”
“Only a few years. School took four, and then there was . . .” I paused, debating how much to share, although I was confident Jaxon had noticed the slight hitch in my step. “I was in a car accident a while back. My leg got pinned under the dashboard, and I fractured the top of my tibia. Thankfully, it was a clean break, but part of my joint got crushed. Rehab took months.”
“Does this mean you’ve got a bionic leg and shit with a plate and rod?”
I smirked and gave the upper part of my shinbone a tap. “Well, when you put it like that, yeah, kind of. Titanium upgrade, but no rod.”
He chuckled and then nodded toward me. “I figuredsomething was up. Other than those first few steps when you stand, you hide it well.”
I raised an eyebrow. “You’ve been watching me walk?”
“Maybe a little,” he said with a sly grin. “Occupational hazard. It’s my job to notice details. Does it bother you?”
“You watching me or the leg?”
“Definitely the leg . . . How else would I justify staring?”
“Only when it’s cold. Thankfully, that’s not really a problem here, like it was where I lived before, but there’s still some lingering pain and stiffness. Nothing I can’t manage. I stay active, walk at least ten thousand steps a day, even when I’m not working, and jog when I’m feeling strong enough. It helps minimize the discomfort.”
“There’s a treadmill in the spare room, feel free to use it while you’re here.”
“Thank you for your generosity, Jaxon. I know I don’t deserve it, not especially after I?—”
Jaxon stood abruptly and took my hand, gently pulling me to my feet. His fingers slipped into my hair, gliding down the back of my head until they rested at the nape of my neck. His thumbs brushed softly over my cheeks as he looked at me with so much empathy in his eyes.
I closed my eyes to hide the pain burning behind my eyelids, but his touch was so tender and grounding that it made it hard to breathe. The intimacy of our closeness, the familiarity—it was all-encompassing.
I’d never wanted him to kiss me more than at that moment. I wanted to grab on to the past and never let go again. I knew it would have felt like coming home if he kissed me, but there was also an air of uncertainty plaguing me.
I was all up inside my head in a heartbeat.
What if he only loved the old version of me, and not the one still healing? Because the truth was, guilt and grief had weighed me down over time until I was left hollow and broken, and Jaxon deserved so much more than I could give.
“Come, we’re going to take a ride.”
“Can’t we just take your car?” I asked, swallowing down my nerves.
“We could but?—”
“Let me guess,” I said with a tilt of my head, hoping the sarcasm in my tone would hide how fast my heart was racing out of fear. “You want me holding on to you for dear life.”
“How’d you know?” He smirked.
“Just a wild hunch.”
“Have you ever ridden on one before?” he asked, bouncing his eyes between me and the motorcycle.
“No.”
“So, I’m your first?”
If only he were my first everything, like we planned.
“Yes,” I replied nervously.
