Safe.
Cared for and adored.
I was afraid if I blinked, he’d be gone and that this was all just a dream.
“For the first time in a very long time, if ever maybe, I’m realizing what it feels like to be happy in the company of another. That’s not to say there still isn’t chaos in my life, and I’ve got a myriad of problems to figure out, but when I’m with you, it feels like none of that matters. It’s inconsequential, because at the end of the day, all that matters is I know I’m exactly where I’m meant to be and with whom. When I first came to town, there’s no denying my walls were up, and I was standoffish—”
“You were cute.”
I jerked back and playfully smacked his chest. “Seriously? You’ve got an odd sense of humor then, mister.”
“No, I just recognized the signs.” He captured my hand in his. “You were hurting, and the last thing you wanted to do was appear vulnerable in front of a stranger.”
“See, that’s just it, you see me, like truly see me and as scary as it is, it’s also been eye-opening.” My words lingered in the air long enough to realize their honesty didn’t weigh me down but freed me. “While I wish I could thank your parents for not only raising you to be a man with a kind-hearted soul and who has a strong set of morals when it comes to family values—I also want to thank you for welcoming me into your world. You and Brooke are your parent’s legacy, and there’s absolutely no doubt in my mind the kind of people they were . . . I know my thoughts are rambling and all over the place, I just don’t know what I did to deserve you, and I’m afraid it’s all going to vanish.”
“I assure you, I’m not going anywhere.” His fingers traced over the tattoo at the base of my neck, silently reminding me of our mutual belief thateverything happens for a reason.
I nodded in understanding and then allowed my head to roll back on my shoulders as I took a deep, calming breath and looked up toward the heavens. Boden gave me a moment to bask in my serenity before distracting me back down to earth when he reached for the gift he wanted to give me earlier.
“I came across this concept when Brooke and I were grieving.” He took a solemn breath. “At first, I had my reservations. I didn’t want to be any more vulnerable than I already was, but I also knew it wasn’t just about me. I needed to be the son my parents raised. Strong and resilient, and sometimes that meant thinking outside the box.” He handed me the wrapped package. “I was amazed at just how much comfort something so simple in theory brought us. Now, whether you use it or not is entirely up to you. No pressure.”
Boden definitely had me intrigued.
I tugged on the twine, letting the coarse weave unravel, loosening the edges of the folded kraft paper. My heart thumped a rigorous rhythm inside my chest as trepidation held my nervous breath captive. Once I discarded the wrapping, the script staring back at me on the cover of a notebook caused my eyes to immediately gloss over with moisture.
“Letters to my sister in heaven.”
“You’ve said how you would give anything to still be able to talk to your sister, and while that isn’t possible in the traditional sense, there’s nothing stopping you from still having those conversations.”
He’d given me a tangible way to communicate with Annabelle.
A way to put my thoughts and feelings down on paper.
A way to connect and share my life, bare my soul.
With my lips pressed firmly together and the book clutched against my chest, I tried hopelessly to hold my tears back.
His gesture, the pure empathy in his heart—
It single-handily shredded me and rebuilt me, all in one fell swoop.
I was so incredibly touched by the magnitude of the thought and care behind his gift. I struggled to collect my thoughts as the words needed to encapsulate my appreciation felt inadequate.
“Lakelyn.” My breathing hitched. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“No, Boden, no.” I met his tentative gaze. “This is quite possibly the most beautiful gift I’ve ever been given. I just—” The weight of my emotions blocked out the light as I was so overcome with gratitude that I struggled to articulate myself.
Boden’s thumbs brushed away the dampness on my cheeks with the utmost care. His touch was so delicate and calming. Reassuring me despite the emotional roller coaster I was on. He wasn’t afraid of my journey but showed me he would be right there by my side at every twist and turn, peak or valley.
“Our brain is our most powerful muscle, and grief is individualized. While I can’t take your pain away, I can help you find ways of coping.”
“It’s perfect, truly perfect.” I nuzzled my head against his chest. “No amount of thank yous will ever suffice.”
Chapter22
Boden
“Why, Officer Miller,” she acted surprised, answering my late-night knock on her door with a sparkle that glistened across her cheekbones and a playful tone that had my cock twitching behind the zipper of my uniform slacks, “I wasn’t expecting you.”
