Kelcie: Why didn’t you tell me before we kissed?
Levi: I was scared I’d lose you.
Kelcie: Were you ever going to tell me?
I read her question four times before I bite the bullet and type my honest reply.
Levi: No.
Kelcie: Thank you for responding to all my questions.
Levi: I’m here if you need more answers.
It shows that she reads my message, but she doesn’t send another one and instead goes offline.
I let out a heavy sigh and tuck my phone back into my pocket before watching Lick jumping excitedly around in the snow.
When she’s soaked through, I indicate for her to come, and we head to the motel room. I place my phone on charge, then grab one of thetowels. Sitting down on the floor, I lean back against the bed and begin to rub Lick’s fur dry.
She lets out a little whining sound as she keeps looking at me.
“I know, girl. I miss her too.” Lick lies down on her side, exposing her belly to me. “I don’t know where we go from here,” I whisper as I pet her.
After a while, I drag my sorry ass up and change into a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie. I switch off all the lights and slump down on the bed. Lick jumps up and takes the spot beside me, resting her head on a pillow as if she’s a little human.
Lying on the lumpy mattress, I stare up at the dark ceiling, trying to figure out what I’m going to do next.
My thoughts keep returning to the shit show that happened and some of the special moments I experienced with Kelcie.
The first time I kissed her. God, my entire world shifted on its axis when I tasted her and got lost in the feel of her soft lips.
The memories we shared. Besides my fucked-up family, she’s the only one who knows some of what happened to me.
With Kelcie, everything was different. For the first time in my life, it felt good to be touched. That alone changed my world. Never mind the desire she made me experience. She made me feel like I belonged. Like I finally had a purpose in life.
To love her.
Kelcie
For the past week and a half, while everyone is at work and Brady is at day care, I lie in bed with the covers pulled over my head. I only get up before they all come home, so I don’t cause them unnecessary worry.
Every half an hour or so, the urge to reach out to Levi becomes a torturous battle.
I want to beg him to tell me it was all a hallucination. That none of it really happened.
But it did.
“Kelcie,” Jordan murmurs from the doorway.
I startle out of my deep thoughts, and surprised he’s home so early, I quickly throw the covers back.
He walks closer and sits down on the side of the bed. “I’ve given you time. You can’t keep bottling things up. Talk to me.”
“Don’t wanna,” I groan, like a petulant teenager.
When I begin to pull the covers back up, he stops me and shakes his head. “I’m not going to stand by and watch you fall back into depression. I might not be Levi, but I’d like to think I can help in some way.”
I sit up and lean against the pillows before locking eyes with my brother. “I don’t know what to do. I’m torn in two.”
