She’ll hate me.
I hear Kelcie’s back door squeak as it opens, and turning my head, I see her dart out into the yard and twirl in a circle with her hands in the air. Laughter bubbles from her, the sound making a sad smile tug at my mouth.
Just thinking about losing her has unbearable pain ripping through my heart.
I want to steal her away from the world. Carry her off to our little farm, where she can milk cows and do whatever she desires.
I want to give her the whole goddamn world.
Kelcie quickly jogs back to lock the door, then her laughter fills the air again as she runs toward me. Her happiness is so bright that it shines from her, making the shadows around me retreat.
I open my arms as Kelcie launches herself at me, and when I catch her, I hug her as tight as I can while she hooks her legs around me.
I walk into my house and wait for Lick to follow before I shut the door behind us. Heading to the living room, I sit down on one of the couches, and Kelcie adjusts her legs as she straddles me.
“First snow,” she whispers. “Make a wish.”
I wish Kelcie will never leave me and we’ll be happy together forever.
Lifting my arm, I brush the tips of my fingers over her temple and cheek. I revel in how soft her skin is while I memorize every inch of her face.
I notice a scar beneath her left eye, and when she realizes what I’m looking at, her smile fades.
“I got it during the ...” She swallows hard but finds the strength to push through. “During the attack.”
Keeping quiet, I wait to see if she wants to tell me more.
She finds a spot on my chest that she stares at, then she asks, “Memory for a memory?” When I nod, she says, “You go first.”
My teeth tug at my bottom lip while I think of something to share. Wanting Kelcie to open up to me about the attack, I decide to share one of my worst memories.
I clear my throat, and taking hold of her hand, I link our fingers. “There’s a reason I’m antisocial.” I suck in a fortifying breath before continuing, “My parents, if you can call them that, would take my half brother out for fun days. They’d spend all week talking about their plans. Going to the zoo. Camping. A day at a water park. They would get all excited while I was consumed with dread.” I shake my head and glance down at our joined hands. “I never got to go with them. Instead,they would lock me in the guest restroom while they were out having fun. I suppose I should be thankful I at least had access to water.” A bitter chuckle escapes, then I have to shut my eyes as the memories flash through my mind.
Slamming my fist against the door until my skin turned purple and blue.
Crying until I passed out from exhaustion.
The loneliness.
Fuck, the horrible feeling of being abandoned.
Kelcie rubs her free hand up and down my chest, drawing me out of my thoughts. I look at her again, and seeing the tears shimmering in her eyes, I shake my head. “Hearing my memories isn’t doing you any good.”
“This isn’t about me.” Her hand moves up to cup my jaw. “It’s about you, Levi. Maybe if you share your trauma, I can help you bear the weight.”
Our gazes lock as I realize the memory-for-a-memory deal isn’t for Kelcie’s benefit. All this time, she’s been doing it for me.
For once, someone is putting me first, and I can’t describe how it makes me feel.
“Tell me more,” she encourages me to continue.
My eyebrows pull together. “One Christmas Eve, they left me locked in the restroom for four days. I think they went skiing. There was a blizzard on the third night. It sounded like the house was going to cave in on top of me from the strong winds. Then the power and heat went out. I was wearing a pair of shorts and a T-shirt, so they didn’t do much to keep me warm.”
“Oh my God, Levi,” she whispers, horrified.
I remember how helpless and cold I felt.
When my chest begins to rise faster and my breaths become shallow, Kelcie frames my jaw and locks eyes with me.
