My chin quivers, and I lower my head. “What do you do when you’re destroyed?”
“You have to create a new version of yourself. A version you can live with.” I’m surprised when he reaches over and his hand covers both of mine. “And that will take time. Don’t let anyone rush you, Kelcie.”
I take in the veins snaking beneath his skin, thinking his hand looks really strong.
“I miss the old version of me,” I admit softly. “I was so happy.” My vision blurs, and I close my eyes to ease the sting from not being able to cry. “My life was perfect.”
Levi’s fingers tighten around mine, and Lick comes to rest her head on my thigh.
Sitting in the dark, I get more comfort from a dog and this man I hardly know than I’ve gotten from anyone else since the attack. Everyone’s tried to be supportive, but they’re always uncomfortable around me. They don’t know how to deal with my grief and trauma and eventually give up.
Because Jordan’s been able to deal with the loss he suffered, he expects me to do the same. Only, he wasn’t there. He didn’t hear their screams. He didn’t see the violence.
Suddenly, I’m hit with the memory of Sage’s pale face, Dad being stabbed, and Mom clutching her neck.
The next breath I try to take slams into my throat and refuses to fill my lungs.
Knowing it’s going to be a severe panic attack, I jump up and run to the kitchen. Horrible sounds come from me as I begin to hyperventilate, and I yank open the cupboard where I keep my medicine.
When I take hold of the box, it slips from my hands and falls by my feet.
Levi appears and quickly picks it up. He reads the label, then takes a pill from the foil before pushing it past my lips. He grabs water from the fridge, and placing one of his hands behind my head, he brings the bottle to my mouth so I can drink some and get the pill down.
I’m trembling something fierce and still struggling to breathe. Desperately needing comfort, I slam into Levi’s chest and tightly hold on to him.
He curls one hand around the back of my neck while his other grips my bicep. He’s not caging me in his arms but is trying to offer me comfort.
“Just breathe,” he says with a gentle tone that gets through to me. “You’re safe.”
Why does it feel like this man knows exactly what I’m going through?
The pill begins to take effect, and my breathing slows down until I become aware that my cheek is pressed against his muscled chest and my hands are gripping his shirt.
Usually, I’d pull back as quickly as possible, but instead, I take a deep breath of his scent, which smells like cedarwood and citrus. It reminds me of my workshop.
God, I miss the smell of wood as I carved it into any shape I wanted.
“Better?” Levi asks.
“Yeah.” Pulling back, I lift my head and lock eyes with him. “Thank you.” I gesture at his chest. “Sorry for touching you.”
“Don’t apologize.” He tilts his head slightly. “I’m okay with you touching me.” He glances at the box. “Do you need to take them often?”
“I’m trying not to depend on them too much.” I put the medicine back in the cupboard, then say, “We should call it a night.”
“Okay.” Levi’s eyes drift slowly over my face. “Try to get some rest, Kelcie.”
I nod, and once he leaves, I retrieve the mug and teacup from outside and load them into the dishwasher before switching on the machine.
After I shut the back door and make sure to lock it, I head to the couch and drop down with a huff. I pull up my legs and wrap my arms around them, resting my chin on my knees.
Today turned out to be much better than I expected. Besides the panic attacks, I actually had a pleasant evening with Levi. It feels like we’re similar, and I don’t have to pretend around him.
Curious about Levi, I pick up my phone and google his name.
When I see the title of the book that was made into a movie, my eyes go wide as saucers.
The Elimination Project.Oh my God! Easton Rowe acted in that movie.
