I know he’s referring to Vasili, but I don’t understand why he feels the need to reiterate what he—
“I shot him right between the fucking eyes.”
Shit.
It’s not an exaggeration. It’s real. He raised a gun to that horrible man’s head and pulled the trigger.
The mental image forms in deep dark depths of my mind: Vasili lying on the floor in a pool of his own blood with a hole in his face. A hole put there byLeo.
I swallow the urge to gag.
Leo must see the look that crosses my face, but he immediately misreads it. “I know that you’re an actual human being, very warm-blooded with a beating heart. Youfeel. You’re empathetic, and that’s okay. That’s what makes you even more beautiful.” There’s a beat of hesitation and a brief smile thatdoesn’t reach his eyes before he continues. “Not me, ptichka. I’m dark—”
“Leo—”
“No, listen to me,” he says firmly. “I’m dark, broken, and scarred for the rest of my fucking life. I shot him between the fucking eyes, and I’d do it again if I could. No regrets. No apologies. No fucking feelings clouding my judgment. I could do that. I could do a whole lot worse. Look at me…”
Hot, stinging tears quickly spring to my eyes and blur my vision, but I blink them away and drag my gaze across his bloody clothes.
Leonid gestures around, to nothing in particular. “This is my world, Elena. It’s fucked-up. It’s bloody, brutal, and it’s not for fragile hearts. It’s not something you or anyone else can justfix, especially not when the victims don’t see anything broken.That’swhat you need to understand.”
His chest heaves as he stares at me with conflict in his eyes, like he can’t bear to lose me, but will do whatever needs to be done to protect me.
Despite the rage in his expression, I can also see the care, the fierce protectiveness, and something else that we’ve both denied ourselves from fully experiencing for far too long.
My mind screams at the danger of the monster before me, at the danger of his unapologetic confession, while my body burns with a terrifying, helpless relief that he made it back to me alive.
Call me crazy. Maybe I am really insane to hear everything he just said and not budge. But I’ve come to accept that nothing could ever make me want to run from this man.
He thinks he’s fucked-up? I wonder what made him believe I’m any better.
I take a breath, my heart pounding, but understanding for the first time the scale of his world.
Angrily and without hesitation, I march forward, closing the distance between us. I stop right in front of him, where his hot breath fans across my forehead and his chest brushes my chin.
I tilt my head backward, glaring at him. “You know I’ve been here, waiting in agonizing silence except for a stupid cricket that won’t stop chirping? I’ve been here, counting down the seconds until you and Tati came back home to me. You’re saying I went through the most suspenseful period of my life, only to have you come back with crap about my fragile feelings?”
His brows furrow, but the iciness slowly begins to fade. “Did you even hear a fucking word of what I said?”
“Oh, I did.” I nod, feeling the burning tears finding their way back up. Sniffling, I stand my ground. “I heard you loud and clear, Mr. I-get-to-decide-the-fate-of-everyone’s-lives. I heard you, oh king of—”
“Elena, this isn’t the fucking time for jokes.”
“Jokes?” I nearly choke on the tears that well up, and I laugh to force them down. “You think I’m joking? You think I’m finding your rant about how much I don’t understand you funny? Leo…you’re trying to push me away!”
My voice echoes so loud that silence falls in the room, and a few of the men glance our way. But I’m beyond caring about whether they hear me.
All my emotions merge into a huge, disastrous wave that comes crashing down, wrecking all of me in one sweep. It breaks my restraint and the tears come rushing out, pouring down my cheeks with no shame.
“I looked at you. Now you look at me, Leo! I have so many reasons to pack up my bags and leave. I know you’re ready to grant that request right now, if I ask. But I won’t. I’m still here. I have no intention to leave you. What you told me? All you said? It doesn’t matter.”
“But itdoesmatter. There’s a real world outside these doors, with real consequences for the shit I do. That’syourworld, the one you belong to. The one that cares about morals and all that shit.”
I swipe the tears off my cheeks, hoping he sees my determination. “Keep trying to dissuade me all you want. It’s not working. It won’t. Want to know why? Because I see you, Leo. Just like you see me. And I’m telling you, you can’t get rid of me. I’m here, and I’m staying.”
Frustration settles in his gaze…and a flicker of pride, too. But the rest of his face remains a stony mask. “So now what?”
“Now you take that crap back about my fragile feelings and do what you should’ve done the minute you came in here: kiss me.”
