"Are you okay? What about the kids?"
"We're fine. They're good. They don't know anything, I've been able to keep them in the dark."
"What's that mean?" I asked.
Her voice caught before she answered.
"I...I...I'm so scared, Becca. Billy..."
Sandra's voice trailed off after saying his name. I wanted to scream at her,'Billy what?!'but I calmed myself by taking a deep breath. She didn't need me freaking out on top of whatever she was going through.
"What's going on?" I asked.
"I don't know what to do. We're in the new house. Billy was still locked in his office and I just packed everything up and moved us myself. He didn't help. I don't even know if he knew what was happening."
"Is he still at the old house?"
"No, he's in a hotel now. I'm done, Becca," she said, her voice growing stronger. "I can't keep doing this to my kids. I can't keep doing this to myself. I told him we're done, but he won't accept it. He said I have until noon tomorrow to come up with the eight thousand dollars he put down as security for the house or he's moving in. I don't have that kind of money. If I did, he wouldn't have had to pay the security deposit himself. I don't know what to do."
She has to get eight thousand dollars in one day?
I thought about my credit cards and wondered if I could get an advance and lend her the money. Did I even have that much available? My head was spinning from what she said so much that I couldn't think straight.
"You have no idea, Becca. I love that man more than anything. But when he drinks, he becomes someone I don't even know. I can't let him move in, but he's on the lease and since he put down the security, I don't think I can do anything about it. I'm going to call the landlord in the morning, but I don't think he can help."
"It doesn't matter, Sandra. If he's threatening you, you have to call the police."
She sighed and I imagined her shaking her head. I knew her too well.
"I can't," she said. "I love him so much. I can't do that to him."
"You have to do what's right for you and the kids. You know I think he's a great guy, but if he's acting like this, you need to protect yourself."
"I'm so confused. I don't know what to do anymore. We have so much history together. We've been together for four years now and except for what happened a few years ago, things have been great." She took a deep breath before whispering. "I've never told anyone else this before. Promise you won't say anything. Billy hit me once."
My mouth fell open with surprise. Three years ago she and Billy had broken up, and the only reason I knew was that he had started drinking again. I always knew he was an alcoholic, but he had been sober for years before he and Sandra started dating. Knowing he hit her, I wondered why she would have gone back to him. She answered my unspoken question.
"I love that man more than anything, Becca. I really do. But I'm done. I'm so afraid of what he'll do if he shows up here. I can't live like that. I can't have my kids living like that either."
"Does he have a key? If he does, you can find a 24-hour locksmith to come out and change the locks. He can't get in unless you let him."
"He doesn't have a key. Hopefully he'll stop drinking long enough to come to his senses."
"I hope so," I said quietly.
I wished I had something better to say, but I didn't. Sandra didn't have anywhere she could go, and I was too far away or I would have taken her and the kids in. I had to keep hope that the good guy who was still there in Billy would come out and leave her alone.
"I need to make dinner for the kids," she said. "I know you probably think you didn't help, but I really do feel much better just from talking to you. I think I've been overreacting about him. I know what he said, but I don't think he'll force himself into the house."
"Okay, I'm glad you're feeling better, but if he shows up, just call the police. Don't even think, just dial 911."
"I will."
"Promise me you'll call me tomorrow," I said.
"I promise. And I'll be fine, don't worry about me. Right now Billy is so drunk I don't think he can leave his hotel room if he wanted."
As much as I didn't want that to give me comfort, it did. Sandra was alright for now and as much as I wanted to help her, there was nothing I could do.
