He yanks his mouth from mine, and I whine, the sound so unfamiliar to my own ears.
“Take my blindfold off.”
“Please… no…”
Let us just kiss. Let me pretend you’re him and my life is all right—not half a woman, with a hole in her chest and a gap in her brain. This version can’t offer anything because she lost everything.
“Mi sol…”
The endearment breaks something in me, and I give in more on impulse. I need him to hold me together because I am afraid I will come apart at the seams. He’s cruel like that, but it is my fault. I let my guard down. I am to blame.
With trembling fingers, I remove the blindfold, drowning in his dark blue eyes. I am tired of pretending that I am fine, exhausted of hoping for a positive resolution. A flurry of emotions overcomes me. This imposed solitude will be my death, while his lips offer me the kiss of life.
He cups my cheeks, and my eyes water as I lean into his touch. With a gentleness I didn’t think he possessed, he places a kiss on my forehead and simply holds me. He holds me for long minutes as I sob in his arms.
“I’m broken, Vian.”
“Then let’s be broken together. I’ll take and cherish every jagged piece, Zara.”
I do not know what he sees in me, but I’ll take it. So, I lift on my toes and kiss him, losing myself in the sweet dream he spins for me. The deep sounds he makes in his throat only spur me on––like I am the cure when I can’t even heal myself.
He strips me bare, uncovering my hidden parts and revealing my vulnerabilities, but for an unknown reason, I feel safe with him. Believe every word as if it’s my soul’s Bible.
We kiss for so long, my lips swell, yet it’s not enough. I am greedy for everything he offers.
By the time the kiss ends, he steals the breath from my lungs, leaving me aching to be filled. Each nibble caresses my insides, gluing the broken parts of my heart, prying my chest open so he can slip inside—I am powerless and freer than ever before. A dichotomy ruling my life.
I feel him hard between my thighs, stirring a dormant need, a hunger that needs to be satiated or I’ll die. Locking my arms around his neck, I grind against his groin. “Now what?”
A groan rumbles in his chest, and he wraps his hand around my hair, tipping my head back.
I bite my lip, the arousal heavy and throbbing in my core.
There is no different outcome.
This is my life.
This is my husband.
7
VIAN
My heart and brain wage a bloody war inside me, leaving only carnage behind. Split between love and reason, I surrender to my sole need: her.
“Hmm, I’m thinking of taking you behind the waterfall,” I say, challenge underlying my voice.
“Anywhere but there,” she murmurs as if pleading for understanding.
It takes everything in me not to tell her it’s me. It’s fucking me. I am the man she loves and is loyal to. While I am proud to have achieved that, to have loved her deeply enough to leave an indelible mark on her, that very love now jeopardizes her falling for me anew.
My heart urges me to take her to the same place that means so much to us, but my brain reminds me to follow the plan. Take it easy. I won’t win if I push her too much, too soon. If she locks me out, it will be harder to slip through the cracks.
All I’ve wished for is a way in. It should be enough, but I am ravenous for her, needing her like she’s air while my lungs threaten to cave in from sheer pressure. I’ve been drowning,stuck at the bottom of an ocean of longing, struggling to break through.
Even with the odds against me, I won the chase. I got my kiss, but her stunt demands retribution. Ideas run through my head, exciting every nerve ending. I toss her over my shoulder and carry her to shore as she yelps and pounds at my back—so feisty, but nothing could stop me. Not her fake yelp of indignation. Not her shoving at my back and demanding I put her down.
Only when I reach my destination do I ease her down. It’s a warm summer evening, and with the forest secluding us, we can steal a moment for ourselves and create a fresh memory.
