“Sure, wipe me to death.”
It hits my chest, then rolls between us like life moving too fast to preserve the special moments.
She bursts into manic laughter, then turns her back to me and starts the water in the tub. “You’re an insensitive asshole, but to tell me this to my face? Do you believe I would ever be grateful for that?”
“I didn’t do it so you would be grateful. My reason stemmed from wanting you to have a life, even if that life didn’t include me.”
She spins to me and stabs an accusatory finger my way. “You didn’t let me try with someone else either.”
“You weren’t that interested.”
“And you know that how?”
I cup my neck, not knowing how to reach her. “Because I watched you all the fucking time.”
Her entire body shakes with barely contained anger. “Not a stalker at all.”
“If you really wanted it, I would have fucking let you do it. But I recognize what’s on your mind from a micro-expression alone. I had no idea what finding out would do to you.”
“So you sabotaged me?” She rips her clothes off and gets in the tub, bubbles covering her up to her neck.
We lapse into stilted silence, and I tread carefully, determined not to force my luck, so I take a seat on the toilet lid.
“What you did… no sane person would ever condone that.”
I will feed her only the truth from now on. Decision made, I chuckle. “I was never sane, mi sol. Can’t be sane with you.”
She dives her head into the water, staying under for thirty seconds. I am about to pull her out when she slowly resurfaces. “That’s how it feels to be with you. Like I am drowning.”
What every man in love wishes to hear. Fucking great.
“Nothing you could do or say will make me change my mind. I need you to let me go.”
I place my elbow on my thigh. “We’re married. In case you forgot how marriages work in the underworld.”
“We’ll stay married on paper, like it should have been.”
The civilized conversation makes me want to pull my hair out. We should fight instead because our love is worth it, damn it.
I jerk my chin at her to rouse her from her comatose behavior. “Yeah, for how long?”
“This time it must work. We must be civil with each other.”
Shooting up, I get in her face, towering over her so she can get it through her thick and stubborn skull. “We fucking burn for each other. Do you think we can ever be civil?”
She splashes me with water as if that will prompt me to leave. Giving up, she says, “Two weeks. You get your wish. Once again. But then promise me you’ll let me go. If you ever loved me, you need to let me go.”
I stare at her with one question running through my head. How, when I can’t fucking breathe without you? How when you’re my damn life.
If you ever loved me…
“I’ll let you go,” I lie through my teeth.
If that proves it, then I’ll continue doing what I have in the last few years. Love her from the shadows.
30
ZARA
