“The bathroom,” I whisper after a moment, changing the subject. He pulls back just enough to look at me, not even trying to pretend he doesn’t have a clue what I’m talking about.
“He sent me something you drew up, said he wanted my opinion on it, that you came up with it one night and never did anything with it. He said it was your best work, and more like you than anything you’ve ever created.”
Another sob escapes my throat, and I hiccup. “How did he get it?” I ask.
“Griffith.”
I laugh a little at his reply, shocking the both of us. The soft chirps surround us as the afternoon starts to settle in. “I’m not ready,” I say. “I need you to know that. I’m not sure I ever will be.”
“I’m not asking you to forgive me,” he says. “But in time, you will.”
“You sound so sure.”
He laughs, and I feel the corner of my own mouth pull up before I can stop it and press my lips together. “You’ll see,” he says.
CHAPTER 46
Ledgar
She doesn’t go insideand I take that as another win for me. Not that we are keeping score, but I’ll take what I can get. I grab the bumper from just inside the door and the second Duke hears it hit my hand he’s off the porch like a shot, already halfway to the tree line before I’ve even drawn back. I throw it long and easy out past the trees and watch him tear through the grass after it like the world begins and ends with that bumper. Payson is quiet behind me, watching as I throw the bumper again and again each time Duke brings it back. I’m not trying to fill the silence. I’ve learned better than that with her. She needs space to think and she thinks best when nobody’s hovering over her waiting for her to speak. So I just throw the bumper and let Duke make a fool of himself in the yard. I feel her watching from the steps and even hear subtle laughs, the sound vibrating through me.
Duke drops the bumper at my feet and looks up at me and then glances back at her like he’s making sure she’s still there. “I know, buddy.” I pat his head before reaching for the bumper again.
“What?” she says. I glance back at her.
“I didn’t say anything.” I throw the bumper again, and Duke speeds off, tumbles, then speeds off again. We both chuckle at his foolishness.
“I don’t know you anymore,” she says, catching me off guard.
“Not really.” I lean against the railing at the steps and look at her. She’s pulling at a loose thread on her sleeve, not looking at me but at Duke. She looks…happy. “A lot has changed in six years,” I say.
She’s quiet for a second then she speaks. “Six years is a long time.” I nod. She looks at me and there’s something in her eyes that reminds me of the last week we spent together. “Tell me something,” she says.
“What do you want to know?”
“Anything. Everything,” she says. I move to the steps and sit down beside her with my forearms on my knees. Duke abandons the bumper immediately and comes to insert himself between us like I’m sitting too close for his comfort. I look out at the yard and think about where to start and decide the easiest place is the beginning of the thing I can actually show her.
“I built this place three years ago,” I say. “It took fourteen months from start to finish. I was here every day.”
“You watched it go up.”
“Every nail.” I feel the corner of my mouth pull. “Drove the contractor half out of his mind.”
She smiles, and damn does it make me melt. “Somehow that doesn’t surprise me.” She looks at the house behind us. At the glass and stone and details that don’t announce themselves but are there if you’re paying close enough attention. I watch her take it all in like someone in her profession would. “It shows,” she says quietly. “That you were here for it.”
“I still have my place in the city.”
“You mean my place, you left remember?”Touche.“Which do you prefer?”
I look out at the woods and watch as the yard starts to turn a shade of gold in the afternoon light. From the trees to the quiet that exists out here that I have never found anywhere else. “You’re sitting on it,” I say.
“The steps,” she says cocking a brow, then looking out at the yard, the trees, all of it. “Yeah, I can see why.” Duke shifts and drops his head into her lap and closes his eyes and we sit there in the afternoon light and I think about how many times I sat here alone and how good it feels to have her here beside me. A thought I want made into a reality for the rest of my life. “Did you always know you wanted something like this?” she asks. “Away from everything.”
“No.” I lean back on my hands. “For a long time I thought I wanted the opposite. I miss it some days but I lived it for awhile and did everything that came with it. The day after I left, I called my sister and asked her to find me a piece of land near the mountains, away from everything and everyone.” I look out into the yard. “Took me almost a year to find this. When I walked the property the first time I stood right out there at the edge of the tree line and I thought...” I stop and look at her.
“Thought what?” she says, turning to look at me.
“About you.” Neither of us says anything else for a few minutes as we listen to the birds chirp and crickets start their evening melody. “What about you?” I ask. “The city…was that always the plan?”
