“Don’t,” she says, taking a sip.
“I didn’t say anything.” I lean against the side of the house, sipping my coffee and listening to the birds starting up somewhere past the trees. Duke prances up to her, plopping down next to her on the stairs.
“At least someone around here has manners,” she mutters. I let the corner of my mouth pull up just barely.
“I’ll answer your questions.” She turns and looks at me full on with fire blazing in her eyes.
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“You have a right to be angry at me,” I say. She huffs, mumbling something under her breath. “I want to take you somewhere,” I say.
She looks over at me. “Excuse me?”
“Somewhere I go to think.” She shakes her head and looks back to the yard. “After breakfast,” I say.
“Oh, you’re making breakfast too.” She takes a long sip of her coffee, and I have to release a breath to keep my thoughts straight.
“Keep it up,” I quip. “See what happens.” The smart remark she had locked and loaded doesn’t come.
“Fine,” she says after a moment.
She follows me inside without being asked and drops onto the barstool at the counter like she owns it. With both hands wrapped around her mug, she watches me move around the kitchen while Duke places himself under her feet immediately. “Traitor,” I whisper. I pull out some eggs and bacon from the fridge and grab the loaf of bread from the counter. The kitchen fills with the smell of bacon as the skillet heats up and the bacon starts to pop a few minutes later. Neither of us say anything as I cook us breakfast. Once it’s finished, I plate it up and set it in front of her, snagging a piece of bacon and taking a bite.
“You didn’t have to do that. Thank you,” she says her voice low.
When I get halfway through my plate, I set my fork down. “I’m sorry,” I say quietly.
She stops, looking up at me. She sets her fork down with a little more force than necessary and reaches for her mug. Like her holding onto that coffee cup will keep her from exploding on me. But I want her to. “Stop.”
“I need you to hear it.”
“And I need you to stop.” Her voice sharpens.
“I’m going to say this once.” I hold her stare and keep my voice level. “You don’t have to believe me, or trust me, but I’m going to say it and you’re going to let me.” I pause. “I’m sorry for leaving the way I did and not giving you a reason and makingyou think for even one second that it was your fault.” I pick my fork back up and resume eating my eggs. She stares at me while I finish eating, the weight of my words clinging to her.
“You don’t get to decide when I hear things,” she mutters.
“I just did,” I say evenly. “Now finish eating so we can go.” Her eyes narrow at me and she’s two seconds away from letting something fly but I hold her stare, daring her to. Instead, she picks her fork back up and finishes her food. A small victory for me.
“It was all he left me. A stupid envelope.” She lets out a short humorless breath. “With only a set of keys and a note with your address on it.” She looks up and her eyes are glassy with unshed tears.
“I didn’t know he was going to do that.”
“Great.” She picks up her mug and drains the last of her coffee before setting it back down. “That’s one thing cleared up,” she mutters.
I hold her gaze a moment longer than she’s comfortable with before getting up from the counter and gathering up both plates, carrying them to the sink. “Are you ready to go?”
CHAPTER 42
Payson
He doesn’t waitfor me to follow him as he steps off the porch and whistles for Duke to follow. He rockets off into the tree line like he’s been waiting all morning for someone to give him permission. I look around at all the trees, then back to him. He slows his pace falling into step beside me as we walk in the woods. The morning air is cool and smells like pine and wet earth as the light breaks through the canopy in the long uneven pieces that shift when the breeze moves above. I don’t ask where we are going, or how far it is. We don’t talk, and somehow it’s the most comfortable we’ve been since I opened my eyes this morning and found him sitting in that chair watching me. I can’t deny that seeing his eyes on me after all these years, with that same desire laced in them, had heat building deep in me. The trail isn’t marked, so there’s nothing to follow except him. I keep pace beside him, and the trees grow thicker and then start to thin after awhile, before stopping all together when we do.
The ground drops away in front of us in wide layered shelves of rock. Ancient rocks made of red and amber are carved outfor a long way, while lying at the bottom is a lake. I look at him over my shoulder and there is something in his expression that is quiet and unguarded in a way I haven’t seen from him, and it makes butterflies swirl inside me. He steps down onto a wide slab of rock at the edge and reaches a hand back up to me. He waits patiently as I look at his hand, then at the slight drop before taking it. He helps me down and we sit side by side on the stone with the unmistakable view before us. Duke settles somewhere behind us with his nose working overtime at all the smells. It’s weird seeing Ledgar with a dog. I would’ve never pictured him with one, but I guess a lot can happen in six years. Deciding it may be time to get my pain out, I glance over at him before looking back down at the lake. “I was so angry when you left,” I say. “Not at first, though. At first I was broken thinking I did something and racked my brain for weeks trying to come up with some reason to make myself sleep better at night.” He doesn’t ask any questions yet, just listens. “Then one day I stopped looking and swore I would never let anyone else hurt me the way you did.” I glance sideways at him. “I’ve been doing really well with that for the past six years.”
“Until this morning,” he says.
I look back out over the small canyon. I can feel the way his mouth pulls up without even looking at him, and it irritates me knowing he knows he still gets to me. “Vivian had him released before Griffith and I even got to the hospital,” I say flatly, trying to keep it together. “She had everything arranged before they even called me, and the look on her face when she saw us there…” I pause. “She was practically glowing.” He doesn’t say anything, just lays back on to the rock, staring up at the sky, and I’m glad he just lets me get it out. “She didn’t know anything about him, and she stood there like she’d won something.” My voice cracks at the end, and I pull in a slow breath. I can feel hiseyes on me as I wipe away the first tear that falls. “I don’t forgive you,” I say, changing the subject. “I don’t know if I can.”
