“That sounds exhausting.”
“It would be,” he replies, “if I didn’t enjoy it.”
I roll my eyes. “Let me guess, you bring every woman who wins up here for this.” I gesture to him, raking my eyes up and down his body. “Like you are the prize.”
“No,” he says flatly. “Don’t compare me to him.”
There’s a pause. A real one. He turns, creating some much needed space between us and walks to the windows. He watchesthe crowd below for a brief moment. “So, this isn’t something you normally do?” I press further.
He turns his head, his eyes finding mine and go dangerously slow down my body and back up to meet mine. “Not usually.” That’s not an answer to my question, not really. But it’s enough to know that whatever this tension is between us, it’s not normal. Neither is the way my body reacts to his stare, his touch, his closeness. I swallow hard as he watches me, like he’s deciding what to do with me now. Suddenly, my body catches us with my head and I walk out that door, way faster than I entered.
The door closes behind me with a soft click, as I nearly run into the tall man with blond hair. The hallway feels colder than when I was in it earlier, or maybe that’s just me. He presses his earpiece and gestures for me to follow. This time I don’t question it. I don’t make jokes or even glance at him. I need to get as far away from that office as I can. My phone buzzes in my hand as I walk. A text message from Ashton flashes on the screen.
Ashton: Where are you??
Me: Heading to the room. Go have fun. I’ll see you later.
I hesitate for a moment watching the three dots pop up and go away before I add:
Me: I’m okay. Promise.
Even though I’m not sure that’s true. We ride the elevator in silence, the kind of silence that gives your thoughts time to roam. I can still hear the sound of his voice in my head. The low, gravely way he whispered in my ear. The way he made my chest feel tight in a way I didn’t understand.You look like someonewho just lost something instead. I squeeze my eyes shut. I can’t think about that right now. I refuse.
The penthouse is just as quiet and still as when we left it, yet somehow different. Like it knows something I don’t. I kick off my heels the second I step inside. The cool tile soothes my aching bare feet as I move further inside in the dark. It’s pointless to turn on any lights. The city below shining through the windows illuminates enough. The view calls to me. Lights flicker below as cars move in endless lines and people enjoy their lives that feel impossibly far away from mine.
My reflection stares back at me, and I barely recognize her. Fragments of the last twenty-four hours replay in my head. Kraig’s voice. The moment the door opened. The second I felt my heart break. I wrap my arms around myself, steadying myself as my throat threatens to tighten. I thought seeing them together, that kind of betrayal, would hurt the most but it didn’t. It was how I walked away from there that did it. The way my heart broke but didn’t shatter. Like I was relieved. God. That feels worse. I press my palm flat against the glass, the weight of something solid beneath my fingertips steadying me. “Was I ever really in love with him?” I whisper into the void. This city doesn’t answer, but I already know the truth. I wasn’t in love with him. I was in love with what he could give me. Freedom. Choice. And now, that’s gone.
My chest starts to tighten again, just like before. When I close my eyes, he’s there—those dark eyes with flecks of green and gold, staring back at me. They seem to read me, as if he already knows things I haven’t even admitted to myself yet. I drag a hand through my hair and exhale, unaware I was holding my breath. “He doesn’t know me,” I tell myself. Not well enough to judge me.
A flashback from the party hits me. He stands across the room, watching me. Not talking. Not moving. Just watching.I remember how I felt under his stare. How my body reacted before my brain could catch up. How I forced myself not to acknowledge he was looking at me like he wanted to devour me. He was a stranger then, but now he doesn’t feel like one. That’s what’s unnerving to me.Not the way my body reacted to him…which is something I am definitely not ready to deal with right now…but the fact that this feeling, this pull between us, didn’t start tonight. It just intensified.
CHAPTER 22
Payson
I don’t remembershowering and laying down. I just remember the quiet. The kind that settles in after a full day when everything finally stops spinning. After the adrenaline begins to fade away and your body realizes it’s exhausted, though my mind is wide awake. The soft light of the city still glows through the windows as I lie curled up on my side. I could black out the room. Make it as dark as my soul, but there is something calming about watching the glow reflect onto the walls. My eyes start to close. My breathing begins to slow, and I find myself drifting off.
Then…click. My eyes snap open. For a second, I don’t move. Don’t breathe. Don’t even fully think. Why am I being so weak all of a sudden? “Ashton?” I mumble, my voice thick with sleep as I push myself up onto my elbows, squinting toward the door. A shadow moves beforehesteps into the light. Not Ashton. Ledgar. My entire body tenses instantly, the sleepiness disappearing like it never came to begin with. “What the hell do you think you are doing?” I snap, sitting up fully now and pulling the sheets tighter around me. “Get out.”
He doesn’t move. Doesn’t even hesitate like I didn’t just tell him to leave. “I said get out,” I repeat, forcing myself to hold his gaze. “You don’t just get to let yourself into my room,” I add, swinging my legs over the side of the bed.
“It’s mine.” I freeze at his words, vaguely aware that my nightgown is bunched at my waist. “What?” I ask, like maybe I heard him wrong. His gaze doesn’t waver as he scans my body.
“This penthouse,” he says evenly. “It’s mine.”
Of course it is. Like, why wouldn’t it be? I huff a breath as I push myself to my feet. “Great,” I mutter. “Then you can have it back.” I move to step past him, but he moves first, blocking the door. My steps falter as I nearly run into him. And it’s then that the air begins to thicken. The space around me no longer feels like mine. “You don’t want to do that,” I say sharp and immediate.
“Try me.”
Theres no force behind his words like he’s not really going to try and stop me. My breath hitches, and I hate that he notices. “Give me a reason,” I whisper to him, refusing to back down even though every nerve in my body is suddenly aware of how close he is.
His head tilts just a fraction, while his eyes stay locked on mine. He’s doesn’t try to touch me, not yet, but somehow I can already feel his hands roaming my body. He leans in just enough that his whisper is barely audible. “I can make everything disappear.”Thump. Thump. “At least for tonight.”Thump.Thump.
My heart is skipping at the thought of staying here...alone...with him. Standing this close to him, with the door just inches away, and nothing else to catch my attention. Leaving doesn’t feel like an option anymore. It feels like running.
“If you want to leave, go. But don’t pretend it’s because you want to.” Ouch. I push past him, putting distance between uslike it will help me think more clearly. Like it will help control the way my heart has been pulsating in my chest ever since he stepped into view. I stop near the windows again, folding my arms over my chest, staring out at the view I’ve come to admire. Trying to convince myself that this isn’t who I am. That there is no reason I have to stay here. But my mind keeps telling me that there’s no reason not to. What do I have to lose? Other than my mind.
I don’t hear him move. Don’t see it until his reflection comes into view. I take a deep breath. Should I turn around? Should I say something? I should end this before it’s too late. Before it becomes something I can’t bring myself to walk away from. But I don’t turn around, just stare at the city below. Seconds pass, the quiet eating away at me, until I’m forced to turn around. My body brushes against his as I fully turn to face him. My pulse spikes as his gaze drops…slow, intentional, down my body and then lifts back to me face. And that look…. It’s all knowing. Like he’s been waiting for this moment since we met.
