Here the man stood on the precipice. It was true he had moved things along headlong in a rush, and he had a hard time explainingwhy, but he could not regret the decision. His heart was fully engaged, and he may as well just drag his head along for the ride.
“Yes, that is what I am about, Miss de Bourgh. It is my intention to make you my wife, but I wish no regrets or misunderstandings along the way. Should my suit be successful we will have many years together, so a few weeks in the beginning will not matter.”
Elizabeth had been listening carefully, both to what was said, and more importantly what wasnot said, andthe mannerin which it was delivered. She possessed no supernatural powers, but at the moment, she trusted the man.
Anne surprised both with her next assertion.
“Mr Read, before you go any further, I need to point out a matter to you.”
“Yes?”
Anne’s nervousness radiated through their skirts; their limbs had been touching the entire time and twitched abominably, even had Elizabeth not heard the tremor in her friend’s voice. Anne was both distressed by what she planned to reveal and resolute in her determination to speak it.
“I am… unhealthy, sir. I am not at all certain Icanbear a child.”
Anne was staring at her shoes now, and probably blushing furiously.
“I have been pale and sickly all my life. Elizabeth has brought me out of that this last year, but I am not at all certain of my recovery. I was feeling ill enough a fortnight ago to return home, fearing the end was near.”
Elizabeth gasped in consternation, both at the sentiment and the fact that Anne had withheld this from her. She was distressed at Anne’s secret, but a bit proud of her friend for her ability to maintain the deception. It was difficult to fool Elizabeth Bennet regularly.
All three drew a collective breath, and Anne continued.
“It is true that I am heir to a sizable fortune, Mr Read, but it is really the estate that is the greater part of the fortune, and I will not take anything from it but my dowry. I could not bring most of what I own to a marriage. Even if I could, it would not be fair to the estate. If I stay here, I will not be penniless, but neither will I bring an enormous boon. My mother must be able to pass the estate to someone else, and it must be passed whole and complete.”
“Thank goodness!”
Both ladies gasped at the unexpected outburst from the gentleman.
Mr Read hurried to explain. “Ladies, you see… we men have our pride, and I would find my wife bringing a large fortune to be a detriment to mine. I want my wife to bring love, companionship, intelligence, conversation, and the ability to help us buildour own fortune. If I begin with a large fortune that was not earned, the opportunity is lost, do you not see?”
Neither lady had ever considered lack of fortune anything save a drawback, but if one was after true love and felicity in a marriage, one could see his point, even if one could not agree with it. Elizabeth for the first time wondered how difficult it might be to find true friendship or esteem with the weight of an estate and a large fortune hanging about one’s neck.
“And my health?” Anne asked with a quavering voice that suggested to Elizabeth that her heart was fully engaged, but she was desperately grasping at straws that would allow her to retain the image she had fostered over all these years.
“Do you have a certain diagnosis of something fatal, Miss de Bourgh? Perhaps consumption, cancer, a disorder of the blood, a weak heart, or something of that nature?”
“No, I just know I am unwell.”
At this point, Mr Read had wisely released Elizabeth’s hand some time past and was on his knees, entirely too close to Anne for propriety or even for what a married couple should do in public, but neither of them had noticed.
“And I must ask it, my lovely Anne,do you want children?You know every woman gambles her life every time she brings a new child into the world, but perhaps your health would make the risk even greater than usual.Do you want a child… genuinely want a child… enough to take the chance? I could not bear it if you did so to make me happy.”
He was staring at her so intently that there was no need for her to make the slightest answer. The expression passed over her countenance: first hope, then hopelessness, then fear, then desperation, and then… finally resolution. She had come to a decision.
“Yes, I want my own children. I never thought it possible, so I never had to think about it, but I find that yes, I am willing to take my chances with the rest of the wives of the world. I have spent years trying to convince myself it was impossible, but I now see I was just trying to protect myself from disappointment. If you are willing to risk your future heirs on such a frail vessel as myself, I might take the chance with you.”
Earnestly, speaking to both ladies, Mr Read continued.
“I have seen man scarred and nearly destroyed by battle, ladies. I have seen one man sitting next to another, both near todeath, and then come back to look at each sometime later to find the sicker-looking man is now hale and hearty, while the less ill has succumbed. Perhaps I overly simplify things, but I believe the thing that makes some survive and thrive while others falter ispurpose. Family, love, charity, duty, ambition, pride… it matters not what drives someone tostrive, just that they do it. If you come with me to Ohio, we will build something grand… together.”
Anne sighed. “Was all this not supposed to come at the end of the courtship?”
Mr Read laughed. “A very good point. I had planned a slow and careful courtship, but it seems Miss Bennet has brought me to the point much sooner; and I find I am happy with her insistence. I must do things properly, so let us begin.”
Anne raised her free hand to stop him.
“Mr Read, I beg you to hold the question that is on the tip of your tongue for a moment. I shall be happy to hear that question… in six weeks’ time.”
