“And how do you feel about that?”
“How do Ifeel?”
No one had ever asked her how she felt. In the Larssen family, you dealt with your problems and sucked it up. Her father’s constant admonition to her brothers to “take it like a man” had also applied to her.
“I don’t know how I feel. I’ve been numb since …” her voice trailed.
“Since you lost the babies.”
She nodded. He wasn’t avoiding the subject. He wasn’t calling them “it.” His candor overwhelmed her, and Jannie was intensely grateful for his hand covering hers, stroking gently.
“I have found,” he said quietly, “that keeping things bottled up inside will eventually wreck you.” He squeezed her fingers. “At the same time, I know it’s hard to talk. So, all I’ll say is that I’m here if and when you’re ready. You’re only human, Jannie. Have you ever let someone else be strong?”
Never.
This was her life, a broken mess, and she would have to somehow pick up the shattered pieces and move on.
The question was how. She looked out over the water. The breeze made the surface look like a blanket of glittering diamonds. How many times had she envisioned being out there on that boat with Blake and a couple of laughing children?
The knot in her throat burned, as did her eyelids, but she was damned if she was going to cry, especially in front of Nick. She sensed his gaze on her and knew that if she looked, she’d see those dark eyes full of compassion. Her lower lip trembled, but she clamped down, blinked, and, thank God, managed to stave off the threatening tears.
Nick didn’t say a thing. Wordlessly, he slid out of his barstool and stood, moving to loom in her peripheral vision. He didn’t touch her, just stood there with his arms at his sides, palms out, looking as if hewanted to reach for her.
He didn’t.
She buried her face in her hands.
“Jannie,” he murmured, “let me hold you.”
She hesitated for a moment, fighting to regain control, swallowing salt. And suddenly, she found herself leaning forward.
And into his arms.
Just like before, his solid strength and the way he completely enveloped her made Jannie feel sheltered. For the first time in her life, she felt safe and protected. He held her firmly enough to give support but not so tightly as to make her uncomfortable.
“It’s OK to let it out.” His voice was low and soothing.
She fisted the fabric of his shirt, twisting, burying her face in his broad chest. Holding on to him this way, her heartbeat slowed, and her breathing deepened.
For a while, he held her, and she took in his scent, barely sensing the cologne lingering on yesterday’s shirt. More of him now and less of the cologne. She found his unique smell profoundly comforting, and a calm descended as the mortifying threat of losing control and crying gradually faded.
She unclenched her hands, smoothed her palms over his pecs, and felt creases beneath her fingertips. “I got your shirt all wrinkled.”
He rested his cheek atop her head, nuzzling gently. “It’s fine. Whatever you need.”
Jannie stayed in his embrace for a while longer, listening to the slap of waves hitting the dock as a boat sped across the lake. She felt a vibration at her back and heard ading. Nick shifted, and she realized he was checking his watch.
He cursed under his breath.
“What is it?”
“The plane is ready.”
He rubbed her back, then released her and stepped away, leaving her feeling cold.
“I need to leave within the hour. The plane has to get back to Vegas, pick up the CEO, and take him to Houston.”
Her heart sank.
