“I’m going to tell him you said that,” I vow with a chuckle.
“So, are you going to take him up on the offer?”
“I don’t know. I’ve gotten used to living in the Airstream. It’s…cozy and mine.”
When I say nothing further, she picks up the conversation. “I think there is more to it than that. What other objections do you have?”
Sighing, I confess, “I feel like I’m behind.”
“What do you mean?” she asks gently.
“All my friends and other people my age are so much further ahead in life than I am,” I say, wiping my bangs from my face. “I thought I would be more—I don’t know—settled by now. Don’t get me wrong. I’m grateful for everything I have; I just thought I would have more. You know, a solid relationship, family, home. I hate feeling like I’m mooching off everyone. I was hoping to have my shit together before now.”
“I hear what you’re saying and understand to a degree. But I don’t think you are behind; I think you had a different path with a few more detours. You will find your way in your own time. Let your friends help you. They want to, and you are truly blessed to have them.”
“See, I sound ungrateful and jealous. I swear that’s not it. I just had higher expectations of myself.”
“I think my brother and sister-in-law may have contributed to those feelings as well.” She places her hand over mine.
“Have you talked to Dad lately?”
“No, it’s been a few months. I assume you haven’t either.”
I shake my head. “He has texted me a couple of times, though.”
“What does he want?”
“I’m not sure. He said Braden has reached out to them.”
“Good Lord, that boy doesn’t give up, does he? Do you want me to talk to your dad?”
“No, leave it for now. I’ll let you know if I change my mind.”
Before limiting how much contact I had with my parents, Braden and I made the trip to Maine to visit them twice. Both times he turned on the charm and won them over. What I couldn’t do over the course of my life, he managed to do in a weekend. Anytime I talked to them on the phone, the conversation would turn towards Braden and what a wonderful man he was. About how lucky I was to have a man like him in my life. When we broke up, and he realized I wasn’t comingback, he called them. Of course, they took his side. I was being unreasonable. Everything he said, they doubled down on. In the end, setting boundaries with them proved easier than it did with Braden.
“Can I make a suggestion?” she asks gently, with sad eyes.
“Yes, of course.”
“You need to put an end to this ongoing cycle you have with Braden. Ask for help if you need it. He has used you long enough.”
Before I can say anything, she continues, “I know you still support that boy. Beyond the house and truck—you’re still giving him money.”
“I’m trying to stop. It’s just hard. He makes me feel so guilty.”
“And that, my dear, is abuse. Even though you no longer live together, he still controls your thoughts and influences your decisions. He has been your biggest detour from getting where you truly want to be.”
I let that sink in for a moment.
“So, if you are asking my opinion about moving into the yellow house, my answer is go for it. That may be the opportunity you need to help find your fresh path.”
“Thank you, Auntie. I’ll think about it.”
“Now can we please circle back and talk about you and Ryan?”
“Ugh,” I moan, leaning forward and resting my head on the counter. “I don’t know anything, but I have really enjoyed spending time with him.”
“You know the quote, ‘When someone shows you who they are, believe them’?”
