I step in close. “Don't ever put the word fuck and her name in the same sentence.”
Ezra rubs his head, eyes bright with interest. “Jesus, you're completely fucked.”
Maybe.
“Has anything happened between you two?”
I keep my back to him, looping the faux flowers along the doorway. If I don't keep myself busy, Ezra will find one of these pretty little leis strangling him.
“Nothing's happened.”
“Why not? I’d be on her in a heartbeat.”
Sometimes I question how we are related.
“She's grieving, Ez.” I tell myself this every day when she's too close. “What kind of man would I be to fuck her when she's not in the right headspace?”
Ezra opens his mouth, thinks better of it, then leans back against the bar, arms crossed over his chest.
“And don't forget,” I add. “Willow has never liked me.”
“Because of what you did?”
I nod once, still focused on the garlands in my hands, snapping the last tie into place before adjusting the brim of my cap.
“She's not over it yet?” he presses. “She's what—twenty-one?”
“Almost twenty-one,” I say flatly. “And you might be the dumbest person ever.”
He huffs, but doesn't say a word.
“I broke her family apart when she was a kid. Rose didn't just let her go—she replaced her. New life. New kid, and Leon?” My jaw tightens. “He was her whole damn universe.”
I finally look at Ezra, then, just long enough to make my point land.
“In her eyes, Rose and I are the bad guys in her story. We hurt the person she loves.”
Thankfully, he doesn't crack a joke this time.
“I don't blame her,” I continue, voice steady even when my chest isn't. “Never have. If I could go back and beat some sense into the man—boy I used to be, I would. But all I can do is live with it.”
I just wish I could do the same to Leon, but our friendship sailed a long time ago, and he refused to speak to me.
“That’s why I offered her a place to stay. The reason I've been an overbearing ass at times and never let her be alone.” My breath catches. “Because I don't want to know where she'd be if no one had been there.”
She already hurt herself.
“Then I saw her again. I didn't see the child I hurt or Leon's daughter.” I swallow. “But as a woman who has seriously messed with my head.”
When I walked into the spare room and saw her for the first time, it knocked the wind out of me.
It wasn't just her beauty that captivated me, or even her clumsiness; it was her eyes. The sadness in them was deep and settled, the kind that doesn’t scream for attention but weighs you down until you feel suffocated. It cut right through me. I would have traded places with her in an instant if it meant she didn’t have to bear that kind of pain any longer.
I wanted to be the one who kept her standing even though she wanted to let go.
I know I've said too much by the way he's looking at me, expecting some bullshit to spill out of his mouth—but he doesn't. He just moves closer, hand landing on my shoulder with a firm squeeze.
“I won't say a word to anyone. Just… do what makes you happy. River might be a little apprehensive at first—”
