Leon and I used to talk about opening a garage together all the time. Multiple ones, like I own now, and I ruined that before it ever had the chance to exist. Although I know he kept working, opening his own up in Newquay, building an incredible life with her. The pang of regret I have for my choices is one I know all too well and something I will always live with.
If I can give Willow even a fraction of that familiarity—something that feels like him, like home—then I’ll do it. No matter what.
Chapter 6
Willow
This is the last place I want to be, with the last person I want to be with. We don't say a word the entire drive. The radio hums low between us, some unrecognisable song filling the space while I stare out of the window and pretend I’m more interested in the passing streets than the man behind the wheel.
It's not awkward, but not exactly friendly either, just a dull mood where neither of us knows what to say.
He's pushy—but not in the way that smothers. He knows when to apply pressure and when to back off completely, recognising that silence is often kinder than questions. It's infuriating. Comforting. Confusing as hell.
Even after he left me alone for a few weeks, he still stocked my favourite sweets in the cupboards and my coconut coffee. Cooked my dinner even though most of the time I left it, but he still did it every day. No comments, no expectations. Just quiet care wrapped in routine.
I hate that he notices things about me.
I also hate that part of me leans into it.
It was easier when I could paint him as the villain. When I don't have to reconcile the fact that he sees me—really sees me—even when I’m trying my hardest not to be seen at all.
It almost makes it worse that he's so good. He's kind without making a show of it, steady without asking for thanks. I get it now—why River turned out the way he did. It all makes sense because it wasn't Rose's influence that did it.
I've seen them together—the easy banter, the way they navigate each other's presence like best friends who just happen to share the same DNA rather than merely a parental relationship. Elijah adores his son; it’s evident whenever he’s mentioned or when they are in the same room.
It's nice to witness.
It also twists something painful inside me, because that's how my dad was with me. Watching Elijah with River feels like pressing on a bruise I pretend isn't there—one that reminds me of everything I lost and everything I’m still grieving. I want to hate him for it, for being a walking reminder of what good fathers are like.
Instead, I just sit there, angry and sad and unfairly comforted all at once, wishing it didn't feel so familiar.
I don't understand why he cares. That's the part that messes with my head the most. Because Rose couldn't give a shit. She never has. She probably wouldn't notice if I disappeared tomorrow.
Something else I have noticed is the lack of pictures of the two of them together. Not a single one. The only one they have of the three of them was taken years ago because River is a child in it with three missing teeth.
And Elijah… he never talks about her. I've not heard him on the phone whilst she's been gone. It's like she doesn't matter to him.
So why does he notice me? I’m nothing to him.
There's something off about it all, and if I had the energy, I would ask, but it took a lot to just shower, even though being clean did make me feel slightly better. The coffee and pancakes were good, too, but I'm not letting him know that.
His head will most likely double in size.
“Thinking about anything interesting?” I jump slightly at the sudden sound of his voice.
His arm is resting on the steering wheel while he's turned slightly in his seat, looking at me, and I can't help but notice the way his muscles bulge underneath his t-shirt, the veins on his hands, and I blink, swallowing the sudden dryness in my mouth.
“Just how annoying you are.”
He just laughs. “I was actually expecting something worse.” he taps the steering wheel. “Come on then.”
Just as he opens the door, his phone rings, Rose's name popping up on the screen, but he doesn't even answer the call. I notice the annoyance flash across his face as he picks it up and turns it off.
“Trouble in paradise?”
He hums in thought. “Nothing for you to worry about, now let's go. It's just us today.” He steps out of the car, closing his door as I stay seated.
There is definitely something going on with them. I always thought they were the perfect couple, or family.
