Chapter 40
Willow
The last time I stood here, River was beside me.
We had just buried my dad.
The memory crashes into me the moment my eyes take in the place—the wind, the smell of the sea, the quiet stretch of the land. I can still see the grey sky from that day, still hear the dull thud of dirt hitting the coffin.
The last time I ever said goodbye to him.
My chest strains so sharply I have to force a slow breath into my lungs. I thought I was prepared for this. I thought coming back would feel manageable.
I was wrong.
Emotion swells up inside me so fast it makes my throat burn. I latch onto Elijah's hand, gripping it harder than I probably should. I don't even realise how tight my hold is until my knuckles ache.
But he doesn't pull away.
He doesn't complain.
Instead, he holds on to me. His thumb brushes across the back of my hand, the small motion calm and reassuring.
Like he knows exactly what I need.
I lean into him without thinking, letting his warmth steady the storm building inside me.
My anchor.
Fresh flowers rest against his headstone.
The petals glisten with moisture, tiny droplets clinging to them as if they've been weeping. Above us, the sky is overcast and heavy, threatening to snow at any moment.
A sharp gust of wind hits me, biting my cheeks.
I welcome it.
The cold stings my skin, clears my head. It almost feels right, like the weather matches the sorrow that creeps in every time I think about my dad… and the last time I saw him alive.
We slow to a stop in front of his grave.
“You still doing okay?” Elijah asks beside me.
I let out a pained sound.
“Define okay.”
I don't want to cry again. I feel like I've cried enough tears to last a lifetime.
Everything feels distant. Blurry. Like I’m hovering somewhere outside my own body, watching another girl stand here grieving her dad.
Except that girl is me.
People always say bad things happen to good people.
But am I even good?
The thought drifts through my mind as I stare at the headstone. Ever since he died, a part of me has carried the same relentless guilt.
