“I really hoped it wouldn't be,” I admit, voice soft, almost shy.
We've never really talked about this before—about us, about how much we pull toward each other—but it feels right.
Eyes lock with mine. “If it were up to me, I’d tell the whole world you're mine, and I’m yours. But… we've got others to think about too.”
My mind goes to River. God, River.
Nothing else about us would make me keep this quiet; only my brother stops us.
“I’m a terrible person,” I mumble, stomach twisting.
He cups both sides of my face, thumbs swiping over my cheekbones. “Far from it. Neither of us knew this would happen. But it did… and there's no way I’m giving you up. Not in this lifetime or any others.”
“I just want to give River some time to adjust to what's happened between Rose and me. And no matter what happens,” he continues, placing his rough hand over my chest, directly over my racing heart. “I’m always by your side, through the good days and the bad.”
I feel my chest tighten under his palm, every beat echoing through me. “I’m always by your side too,” I whisper, leaning in to brush my lips lightly against his.
A sly smile curls on my lips. “Maybe sneaking around will be fun for a little longer. Quinn is always going on about forbidden romances she likes to read.”
“So, she reads porn?” his brow lifts.
“I think she calls them smutty books,” I reply with a laugh. “And they can be quite eye-opening… definitely not worth almost going to jail over, though.”
He grins wickedly. “Oh yeah? Maybe you can borrow one sometime and read it to me while I fuck you?”
I squeeze my thighs around his, heat spilling between us. “Mmm, that sounds like fun.”
“Fucking you,” he rasps, hands gripping my sides, lips kissing my shoulder. “Is more than fun.”
I can't stop touching him, tracing his skin. He's right—being with him is more than pleasure.
“There's something I want you to know… about what I said the other day when Rose handed me the divorce papers.”
I pull back slightly. His blue eyes are clouded, the spark dimmed.
“I remember.”
He pushes a strand of hair back from his face. “Years ago, River was about ten. Rose told me she’d had a miscarriage, and I couldn't be there; I was out of town. But it wasn't a miscarriage. She had an abortion. Because the baby was a girl.”
That bitch. I can't fathom that kind of cruelty. That kind of calculated, selfish lie. “God… Elijah.”
“That's why it pissed me off so much when she insulted you that day- well, any day she does. She played on mental health to get what she wanted, and she lied to me over and over.”
I reach for him instinctively. “I’m so sorry,” I murmured, my heart aching for him.
He shakes his head. “You have nothing to be sorry for. I just wanted you to know. That's all.”
I know telling me this couldn't have been easy, but he acts like it was. Child loss is a wound I've never had to carry, and yet… even though his loss was brief, it still took something from him. A piece of his heart he never got back.
“Thank you for telling me. But I—”
“What?” he asks, brows knitting.
I shrug, unable to meet his eyes fully. “It doesn't matter.”
He exhales. “You're wondering why I stayed after that?” His voice has a twinge of frustration, like he's annoyed with himself. “Part of it was for River. And I did love her, at least for some time. I just don't know when I stopped. I was an idiot. Plain and simple. My family hated her, Ezra despises her, and I think I was just lost for a long fucking time until—”
He stops, eyes locking on mine, dark and intense, as if searching me for understanding.
