‘Not everyone is born with a natural head for business. I know that. But itissomething that can be learned. You think I took over from my father knowing everything there was to know about running a hotel? Like hell I did. I was terrified. Suddenly, there were all these employees relying on me for their paychecks. Relying on me to turn the business around. I wanted to pack it all in and head for greener pastures. Somewhere the name Sawyer meant nothing to anyone. But I couldn’t do it.’
‘Why not?’
‘Your mother wouldn’t have let me, for one thing.’ He chuckled. ‘We were married by then. Your brother was already born. It wasn’t just the employees of the hotel relying on me; I had a family to support as well.’
‘So what did you do?’
‘I did the only thing any of us can do. I did the best I could. Your mother and I, we spent hours researching. Market trends, the ins and outs of running a hotel. We came up with a plan and we hoped for the best. Luckily for us, it paid off.’
‘Mom helped you with the business?’ If he’d told me that my mother had worked nights at Hooters to put him through business college I’d have been less surprised.
He sighed. ‘You children, you don’t give your mother enough credit. She has a very good head for business. She’s very ambitious and highly driven. I doubt the hotel would be half as successful as it is without her input.’
‘I guess that’s why she’s so disappointed in me.’
‘I know it comes across that way, but she’s not disappointed in you.’
‘Come on, Dad. You hear her.’
‘I do.’
‘She wants to control me.’
He laughed, loudly. Birds took off in flight from a nearby pine tree. ‘Your mother gave up trying to control you as soon as you learned how to say the word no.’
‘You’re kidding, right?’
‘I’m not kidding. I don’t agree with how much pressure she puts on you Jonah; I never have. And I’ve made that very clear to her. I’m not going to lie and say it doesn’t bother me that you don’t want to take over the hotel because a part of meissad about it. But it’s your life. If you want to muck about on the boats then that’s what you should do. I will love you regardless.’
‘I’d hardly call it mucking about.’
‘You know what I mean. There nothing wrong with being a lobsterman. It’s a noble profession, and those men are hardworking. Real salt of the sea. This town wouldn’t exist without them. But most of those guys grew up with that fire already inside them. They learned it from their dads, and their grandfathers before them. They live and breathe their work. There isn’t a thing they don’t know about the tides, the breeding grounds, the currents, the need for sustainability in the industry. But you, Jonah, you treat it like a hobby. Like you could take or leave it. Andthat’swhat drives your mother mad. She wants to see you passionate about something. To find your purpose in life.’ He waved out over the bay. ‘It’s obvious to anyone with eyes that you’re not going to find it out there in one of those traps.’
I saw without answering, my mind reeling. Turned out my mother knew more about me than she let on.
‘Why do you think she pushes you so hard to take over the hotel? She’s hoping that maybe once you’re in the job, you’ll realize you have a knack for it after all. And she knows you’ll say no to anything she tells you to do. If she told younotto take over running the hotel you’d probably bloody do it.’
‘She’s not wrong. Not about the hotel. I really don’t want to run that place, Dad. It’s not me. And I’m sorry, because I wantyou to be healthy. I want you to have an enjoyable retirement. And I feel guilty as hell that I’m the only thing standing in the way from you doing that.’
He waved a hand. ‘That’s not true. Your mother likes you to think that because having you feel guilty works in her favor. I think that’s wrong, and I’ve told her that many times.’
‘But I know how important it is to you that a Sawyer carries on the tradition of running the place.’
He growled loudly. ‘I don’t care about that at all. It’s a silly tradition. It’s time it was broken. Your grandfather, you know what he told me just before he died?’
I shook my head.
‘He always fancied himself owning a ranch out in Texas. Working the land. Owning some cattle. Met a girl from there in college, fell in love and dreamed of moving there and building a life with her. But he didn’t. Instead, he did what he’d been raised to do. What was expected of him. Never left Maine. She didn’t want to live here, too cold, so that was the end of them. He married your grandmother and ran the hotel almost into the ground because he didn’t care about it.’
I stared out over the harbor, remembering my grandfather. The only time I’d ever seen him happy was when he was fishing. Other than that, he was a miserable old bastard the majority of the time. Now I knew why. ‘That’s awful.’
‘Your mother wasmyJessica. I’ve known her since we were kids, and our families encouraged the union. But I got lucky. I love your mother, and I was happy to take on the reins of the hotel because I had her by my side. There’s nothing better than knowing you’ve found your team in life. Just having that one person in your corner is enough. Someone you can confide in, your fears, your dreams. Anything and everything. If you can’t say something to the person you married, then you married the wrong person.’
‘Plenty of people do.’
‘Don’t make that mistake.’
‘I won’t. But how do you know if someone is the right someone for you?’
