‘And also, of the people we lost. I lost. Every face I would pass in the street, or at the supermarket, I would wonder if they were the son, daughter, mother, father, sister, brother cousin or best friend of someone who’d died in front of me.’ She took a deep breath. ‘The night I saw this job advertised, we’d lost a young guy earlier that day. He was only fourteen. Stabbed at a party. It was completely senseless and tragic, and I’ll never forget the anguish on his parents’ faces when they were brought in to see him. I feltso helpless, and that was new for me. Normally I managed not to let it affect me, but that night, I just felt like,what was the point?’
I let out a low whistle. I knew of course that she’d been an ER nurse and abstractly figured that meant she’d seen some horrible things, but hearing it really brought it home. ‘I can’t even imagine what that must have been like.’
‘It’s hard to explain. I don’t blame myself for their deaths. I know in my heart that I did everything that I could have done for them, and I’m glad and honored that I could be there when they needed someone the most. I have no regrets about my job, I just couldn’t do it any more. I still want to help people, but in a way that I can live with. The last few years have been rough, for everyone on the planet. Even now, things are so uncertain. I try not to watch the news because it’s usually all doom and gloom, but you hear things on the radio of course, and see things in your social media feeds. I just wanted to go somewhere and do something that felt… normal again. I wanted to have time to do things like this.’ She held her hands up. ‘I mean look at this place. All these people who make up a community. The lights, the smells, the sounds. It’s even more magical than I thought it could be.’
I smiled down at her, loving the look of pure joy on her face as she took in the market. It was easy to forget that not everyone lived like this. ‘I’m sorry for the reasons that brought you here, but I’m really glad you came.’
She smiled back at me. ‘Me too.’
15
MAE
The Christmas carols had started up again as Jonah and I wandered back towards the market. Before the ceremony, we’d only sampled the food and drink, but I was keen to peruse the other side of it – the little market stalls.
I’d found the ceremony quite touching, and was glad that I’d taken a chance and let Jonah bring me here. My first week on the job had been both interesting and terrifying. I’d worked at the hospital in Chicago for so long that I’d forgotten just how daunting starting a new job could be. When the other staff all knew each other, and you were the outsider. They were friendly enough, but it was hard to fit in when they spent the time before our morning meetings laughing and reminiscing about evenings and events you hadn’t been present at. I missed the friendships and camaraderie I had back in Chicago. Knowing I had people to vent to when I’d had a rough day. I could still call Holly, of course. But it wasn’t the same as debriefing over a drink when our shifts had finished.
I was lonely, and having doubts about the move. I missed Holly and the rest of my friends and family back in the city like crazy. So when Jonah first messaged, I’d been tempted toignore him, planning on finishing my shift, grabbing a takeout and eating it in bed at the cottage, followed by doomscrolling or watching something mindless on the TV. Anything to distract me from worrying that I’d made the biggest mistake of my life moving here.
But whathadbeen a mistake, I now realized, was letting myself get into my own head. How could I make friends if I never left the house apart from to go to work? There had been hundreds of job adverts for hundreds of jobs in hundreds of other small towns all over the country. But something had drawn me to this one, and after googling the town and researching it by the tag on social media, I’d felt something. Some kind of connection. A gut instinct thatthiswould be the place for me. Now that I was here, I had to give it a chance.
‘Thanks for dragging me out of the house,’ I told Jonah as we headed back down the pier, walking shoulder to shoulder, occasionally bumping into each other lightly. It took a long time. He knew a lot of people, and they all seemed to want to talk to him. Most of them had heard about Gray’s stoke and wanted to check in on him. Normally his parents would have been here at the ceremony, I worked out from listening in on the conversations. They were big benefactors towards the light upkeep trust. His father had even been the one to turn and switch the light on a couple of times.
‘You didn’t take much dragging,’ he replied, smiling. ‘But you’re welcome. It’s been fun. And hey, you haven’t punched me this time, so that’s got to be a good sign.’
‘The night’s still young,’ I teased, and he laughed.
The music grew livelier, the hum of conversation and laughter all around us got louder. It soaked into my soul like a salve.This, I realized. This was what I didn’t even know I needed. But my heart did. It led me here. Here, to where people connected. People cared. The small-town, cozy vibe was moremagical than these people, many of whom had maybe never even left the harbor for any great period of time, could realize. Here, I didn’t feel lost. In the city, sometimes I felt like an ant in a giant’s world. So many buildings, so many people. So many stories playing all around me behind closed doors. It was, at times, overwhelming.
My nose caught the scent of something and I stopped in my tracks, sniffing the air. ‘What is that smell?’
Jonah sniffed the air. ‘Oh that? That’s fry bread.’
I couldn’t hide my disappointment. ‘Fried bread? Doesn’t sound as good as it smells.’
‘Trust me…’ he put his hand on my elbow and led me towards a stall ‘…it’s better. Can I get a fry bread please, Willow,’ he said to the woman behind the stall.
‘You want it sweet or proper?’
‘Just butter and sea salt please.’
‘Here you go.’ She passed one over to Jonah, who took it and tore it in half, passing one half over to me. Steam curled up into the cold night air.
‘Careful, guys,’ she warned. ‘It’s just come out of the fryer so it’ll be hot.’
‘You always say that, but I’ve burned my tongue on your fry bread more times in my life than I can count,’ Jonah retorted. ‘And it’s been worth it every time.’
Willow shrugged. ‘You’ve never been one for listening to warnings, have you, Jonah.’
He winked at her. ‘And I have the scars to prove it.’
We moved out of the way, allowing the next lot of eager customers to get served. Jonah led the way to a large upright barrel with a tall standing heater beside it.
‘Go on,’ Jonah urged, his face eager like a child on Christmas morning watching their parent open the gift they’ve lovingly chosen for them. ‘Try it.’
‘You do realize you’ve built it into something big now, right?’
‘I have faith that it will live up to your expectations.’
