She watched him from the shadows, his dark hair glistening in the light from the chandelier. He was like no other man she’d ever known. When Nithesdale had first introduced him to her, she’d had no use for attractive men. To be honest, she had no use for any man other than Nithesdale, who’d been more of a father to her than her own had been. Joshua had merely been a brilliant advisor. Nothing more.
Yet he’d slowly snuck into her psyche and had begun to mean more. She began to anticipate his arrival for their business meetings like a young woman looking forward to meeting her beau at a ball. Then their meetings had become scandalously more intimate, often occurring over a meal, or late into the evening on her request. When time had escaped them, Joshua had slept in one of the guest rooms. Down the opposite hall from her bed chamber, too far away to tempt her into acting inappropriately. Like he was now.
Already wearing his greatcoat, he held her coat over his arm as if he would assist her in dressing. She wanted him to do the opposite. He wanted the opposite as well. It had been blatantly apparent as he’d secretly consumed her words on the list. She’d noticed the instant his trousers had become uncomfortable and he’d attempted to hide behind the pianoforte.
Her own body had prepared for him instantaneously, growing heated and wet. So wet.
His tall, athletic build was divine. He sported lean muscle and sinew, without the assistance of padding or corsets so many men of the ton wore. Joshua didn’t require anything to mold his body, it came to him naturally and she’d been hard pressed to determine where he’d acquired such masculine grace. A man who worked behind a desk all day should not possess such raw virility.
She bit the inside of her lower lip, then closed her eyes and willed her heartbeat to slow. It would do her no good to fall down the stairs at his feet. Rolling her shoulders once to release the tension, she opened her eyes and headed down the stairs with what she hoped was a look of pleased serenity.
She watched as he turned and matched her step for step. With a longer, stronger, purposeful stride he met her at the bottom of the staircase while never taking his eyes from hers. She stopped one step from the bottom, her breath coming faster as she realized he was still taller. Then he bowed over her hand and kissed the back of her knuckles hidden by her gloves. How she wished her skin was bare so that she might feel the touch of his lips on her skin once more.
His gaze strayed to the wool bonnet she had designed specifically for ladies who traveled to Scotland. Through the years she had avoided visiting Caerlaverock during the winter months because of the frigid weather. This year, however, she’d made up her mind to stay with Iseabail through the bitter cold months and necessity had driven her to design something warmer.
Her current wool bonnet might appear less ornate upon one’s initial sighting, but closer inspection displayed delicate embroidered Scottish heather with beadwork along the brim. She had been very pleased with the outcome, but was unsure ofthe reaction it would receive by members of the ton. She waited for Joshua’s evaluation.
“You have far exceeded my expectations of what a Scottish bonnet should look like. It’s quite beautiful, although the beauty of the woman wearing it may be influencing my opinion.”
Her cheeks heated at the compliment. “Thank you, Mr. Forrester.” He had always been kind with his remarks, but discussing her appearance was new.
He leaned in close, a twinkle in his eyes. “I believe we are beyond addressing each other so formally, don’t you?”
She could not stop the blush from rising to her cheeks as his eyes traveled to her lips. She didn’t know what to say, so she just nodded as he assisted her down the final step.
“I’m curious why you didn’t make your bonnet out of beaver skin. Don’t you think it would be more suitable to Scottish weather?”
“I’ve never understood a man’s desire to wear a dead animal on his head, and I believe most women of the ton would share my opinion.” She didn’t say if every woman was escorted by a man who had his masculine appeal, they would be fainting within moments of donning a hat such as that.
He looked down at the beaver skin hat in his hand. “Does it offend you?”
“You are at the height of fashion and fashion never offends me. Just don’t ask me to wear it.” He tilted his head in deference to her comment and then assisted her into her winter redingote.
Their old comfortable camaraderie returning, she felt a surge of relief, until he asked his next question.
“Phoebe.” The deep timbre of his voice sent tingles down her spine as he whispered her Christian name. “Are you ready to mark off the items on your list?”
She gave him an overly bright smile as if all she thought about was the fun in the snow Iseabail had spoken of. “I cannotwait. What shall we do first? Build a snow woman, have a snowball fight, or create snow angels?”
The corner of his mouth twitched before he said, “I took the liberty of having Mrs. Hagerty pack a picnic basket so that we might make an afternoon of it. First, we will take a sleigh ride to the top of the rise, and then sled down a nearby hill. After lunching, we can build a snow woman, make snow angels and then you can lick those snowballs you wrote about.”
She nearly tripped on the deep rumble of his voice as he said “lick.” The picture all too vivid in her mind. She cleared her throat. “That’s not necessary.”
“I mean to cross offeverylast item on your list.”
“Oh.” She tried not to let her nerves show, but she had planned it all out in her head so they would always be within sight of someone on the estate. It was the only way to keep herself from touching the man inappropriately. He, however, had made plans for the privacy her list required.
And he planned to complete the list. That scandalous, erotic list she had never in her wildest dreams expected to experience.
“If you would rather not go out…” He showed no emotion at all and she suddenly couldn’t tell if he was anxiously awaiting her to say,let’s go partake in the debauchery you wrote about, or if he would rather stay close to the castle so he could get this tedious task of performing the childish part of her list over with. For all she knew, since his last correspondence, he decided to hell with waiting for her, and he’d found himself a mistress to share his own depravity.
What if the nervous energy she’d thought she’d witnessed in Joshua before coming below stairs was actually dread? Oh, Lord. He’d probably moved on and forgotten all about their time together at the house party. While she had longed to experience the licentious intimacy she’d never shared with her husband, Joshua may have already experienced it with someone else.Sheshould feel guilty or perhaps disloyal to the memory of Richard, but she did not. She had not chosen to marry him, but she had cared for him deeply, and she had been loyal to a man she hadn’t loved throughout her marriage and for ten years after his death. Ten long years of solitary existence and her body was now hers to explore. To give to whom she desired, and today, Joshua was that man—if he so wished to be.
She seized the opportunity. “Yes, I would love to begin with a sleigh ride.”
That devilish grin appeared on his lips and she almost changed her mind, but the chance to experience some of the freedoms she’d heard other women speak of was too great to pass up. He bowed slightly and then placed his hat on his head.
“Then let us be off,” he said as he wrapped her arm around his forearm in a much too intimate manner. Her breath hitched, but she held her head high as they approached the door.
