I love summer.The warm sun on my skin, the beauty of nature around me in full bloom and the fact that we can stay out all night under the stars, and not freeze my tits off.
It’s been a few weeks since we’ve in a way become an official pack. We didn’t sit down and havetheconversation yet, because it just felt right. It wasn’t needed. This is what was meant to happen, and it happened naturally.
I don’t feel the need to ask, to make sure this is really happening, because whenever I’m around Willow and Jude, I know they care deeply about me. I’m notjustthe omega Atlas brought in. I’m theirs and they are mine.
Things with Atlas and I have pretty much been a guarantee after the night in the alley; it just took us finding the rest of our pack to solidify it.
I want to tell them all that I’m in love with them, but god it feels too weird to have that intense, personal moment.
Killing a man with them is easy, talking about feelings, not so much.
But, I’m trying to grow, to keep pushing forward.
And there's a few things I need to do before that can truly happen.
I need to tell these three that I’m fucking head over heels in love with them, because they deserve to know, and I deserve to allow myself to be vulnerable with them. I also need to tell them about my past. We can’t have any more secrets between us, and even Atlas doesn’t know all the details. Ugh, and lastly, these scent blockers! I can’t rely on them anymore, and want to find out once and for all if that pull I feel for Willow and Atlas is something more.
In my heart, I feel like they’re not just mine by choice, but by fate. And until I get these meds out of my system, I’ll never know.
It’s not easy, I have to go off them gradually or it could be a harmful shock to my system. What they don’t know is that I just had a doctor's appointment to lower my dose.
Within the next few weeks, I’ll be suppressant free.
I’m not sure how I feel about it. Yes, I’m excited to get answers, but this is also going to be a big change. I haven’t really smelt an alpha, or been smelt by one in years.
Will I be sensitive to a person's scent now? Will some gross me out while others are more pleasant?
I’m sure it will be just like anything else that has pleasant and unpleasant things.
Either way, I’m doing it.
That's the start of taking care of one issue.
Tonight will be another.
I have work in a few hours but my pack is coming to hang out with me while I work, before we all head to my place for my new favorite thing. Sleepovers.
“Jude?” A smile finds my face as I walk up my driveway, finding my omega sitting on my front step. “What are you doing here?”
He gets to his feet, shooting me a stunning smile. “Hey, baby.” He pulls me into his arms and I sigh happily as he kisses me until my head spins.
“Perfect surprise.”
“I’m glad.” He brushes his nose against mine. “Willow is still working, but I have tonight off, as you know. I was getting bored so I went by the club to see Atlas but he’s drowning in paperwork, so I thought I’d come here to see what you're up to before work tonight.”
“Luck is on your side because I’m free until then,” I laugh. “Wanna just hang out for the day?”
“Sounds perfect.”
We head inside and Jude helps me unpack the bags of things I bought for tonight. Some things to make smores, ingredients for nachos as a little snack to nibble on and some wine.
When we’re done, we venture outside. “It’s too nice to be inside,” I tell him.
“I agree,” he sighs, closing his eyes and smiling up at the sky. “It’s a nice day out.” He lowers his head to look at me. “So, what did you have planned for today?”
A slow cheeky grin takes over my lips. “It’s a perfect day to sunbathe. I’ve been wanting to get a bit of color to my skin.”
He grins back, raising a brow. “Why do I feel like you’re about to get up to no good?”
