“I’ll sit at the bar tonight.” I force myself to pull my eyes away from his ruggedly attractive body.
“Thought so,” she laughs.
“What does that mean?” I ask, lips quirking into a small smile, brow lifting.
“Oh babe.” She gives me a pitying look. “Anyone with eyes can see that the two of you are crazy about one another. The sexual tension between the two of you is thick. What I can’t put my finger on is why the two of you aren't already packed up.”
I can’t deny that I want Atlas. It’s hard not to. He’s an amazing man.
The first time I met him was around two years ago. After years of building up the courage to leave Widows Peak and venture into nearby towns, I wanted to see what else there was to life but didn’t want to risk my stepdads running into me and finding out where I am.
But, I also didn’t like the idea of being too far away from my safe place.
I came into town, went out to grab a bite to eat, did some sightseeing but when I saw the sign for The Rusty Pipe, I thought it was some kind of dive bar.
Boy was I wrong. As soon as I walked in, I was greeted with breasts of all shapes and sizes.
I was about to turn around and leave when Lacy walked up to me with her big welcoming smile and asked what I wanted to drink.
Not wanting to be rude, I let her bring me to a table for that drink. I ended up staying for hours. I left that night with three new friends and the confirmation that I was bisexual, something I wasn’t able to explore in my old life.
While I didn’t have any plans to sleep with any of the girls who worked here, I did enjoy not only the view, but their company. The only thing that made this even better was when I finally met the owner and he took my breath away.
At first glance, he gives off the impression of a scary alpha asshole with his towering size, firm muscles and facial hair. Likean angry lumberjack. But the scowl on his face vanished as soon as one of the girls came over to talk to him, introducing us.
It only took a few minutes of talking to realize he was a human version of a golden retriever. It reminded me that you shouldn’t always judge a book by its cover, or you might just miss out on an amazing story.
Two years later, and I still have no idea what we are. We’re not exactly friends because we both live pretty busy lives. I spend most nights at the club and when I’m not working there, I’m helping wherever I can in Widows Peak.
And Atlas has more than one business. The Rusty Pipe and a construction company, one we started to use with a lot of our expansion of Widows Peak.
Occasionally he’d come to my town, bring me coffee and sit at my club and talk to me for a little while. But nothing during the day, nothing outside our places of work.
I’m not stupid, I can see the spark between us. And as much as I’d love to explore what might be there, I don’t know how to cross that line, to bring it up, to see if that's something he wants as well.
Sometimes, I think that maybe it just wasn't our time. That our lives just don’t link up.
But as of late, I’ve been finding excuses to come here more and more. There's a pull towards him that I’ve stopped trying to deny. That doesn’t mean I’ve allowed myself to give in.
Even though I really, really want to.
It’s not just my past holding me back. It’s the fact that I couldn’t be with someone if that meant keeping secrets.
And I have secrets. At least one really big one. One that if the wrong person knew, it could mean the rest of my life behind bars.
While I don’t allow myself to indulge in those sinful cravings very often, at the end of the day, I have blood on my hands. Of more than just one person.
It’s not fair to the person I’m with if I’m keeping the fact that there’s this dark fucked up part of me who likes to watch the life of a man drain away. Sure, the lives I take are bad people, but still, I’m taking lives.
I’m a killer. There's no other way to put it.
It’s better if I keep to myself. Safer that way.
Still, as I walk towards the bar, getting closer and closer to Atlas, a part of me wants to say fuck it all and beg the man to be mine.
He’d make the perfect alpha. He’d be everything I could ever want and need.
Why does life have to be such a fucking bitch.
