I faced him quizzically. “Why would you admit that?”
He shrugged. “Because it’s the truth.” Then he smiled. “So start thinking about all the things you want me to tell the king.”
I smiled at him in return. “I already have.” Then I took a breath. “My original question still stands... why are you doing this?”
Tristan turned his head and regarded me with those dark eyes. The expression on his face wasn’t pity, even though I’d braced for pity.
“I’m not from Logres,” he said with a shrug. “I’m not from here at all. What these men think of you...” he made a small dismissive gesture “... doesn’t concern me because I don’t share their values. You might be a pariah to them, but I’m a stranger. I’motherjust based on that fact alone. What’s more, they all fear my magic. I’ve seen as much in the way they give me a wide berth.”
“But you’re one of them.”
“On the outside of it, perhaps.” He shook his head again. “And only because Arthur would rather have my magic allied with him than against him. But beyond that, I’m almost as much a pariah as you are.” He looked back out at the yard before looking back at me, and he smiled. “And besides... I find you interesting.”
“Interesting?”
“Genuinely.” His mouth curved slightly.
“How do you find me interesting?”
His eyebrows reached for the cloudy sky. “You’re sitting in the worst possible position, with no power and no allies, and you’re still watching everything. Still strategizing from a place that most people would term hopeless.” He glanced at me again.“Most people in your position would have stopped thinking clearly by now, yet you haven’t.”
I didn’t know what to do with that. My chest felt strange, warm in a way I didn’t entirely trust. I wondered if it was simply that he was kind to me and I was starved for any sort of kindness. Perhaps I was confusing relief for something more significant. The thought was uncomfortable enough that I held onto it deliberately, kept it between myself and whatever pulled me toward him.
He’s being kind. That’s all. Don’t be an idiot about it.
“And there’s only so much male company a man can put up with,” he added with a chuckle. “I found I always preferred the company of women... especially beautiful ones.” I gave him a look, and he feigned affront as he laughed again. “What? I’m just being honest!”
I couldn’t help my smile.
“It appears the king has finally arrived,” he said, and I looked beyond him, realizing Arthur was now here and I hadn’t even noticed him. I turned back to face Tristan and the warmth of his eyes. “I hope you’ll be in the dining hall later,” he said.
“I don’t know if I will be.”
“Well, I hope you are.” He picked up his practice sword and paused. “How is it? Being in Galahad’s care?”
The answer hit the back of my teeth, but I swallowed it down. All of it. The ice baths, the scourge, and the chalk-white look of Galahad watching me with those gray eyes that wanted something he refused to admit to wanting. I swallowed every syllable of it because I knew what would happen if I complained about my treatment at Galahad’s hands: nothing. Yes, Tristan would take it to Arthur, but no, Arthur wouldn’t do anything about it. I was an enemy of the court; no one would care what happened to me in the darkness.
“It’s... incredibly boring.”
Tristan looked at me for a long moment, and there was something in his eyes that said he didn’t quite believe me. Yet, he also didn’t push, and I appreciated that. He just nodded, slow and deliberate.
“I assume the more you play Galahad’s game,” he said quietly, “you’ll earn more rights. More freedoms.” He paused. “It won’t always be like this.”
I looked at him. “You don’t know that.”
“No,” he agreed. “I don’t.”
He walked back toward the weapon racks. I watched him go and then turned my face away, toward the far wall, where the stone caught the afternoon light and held it poorly.
Galahad watched me the entire time.
-ARTHUR-
The gate latch was cold under my hand.
I didn’t lift it. Not yet.
They were already moving: Tristan circling left, Guinevere matching him, the two of them in a rhythm that had clearly been running for a while. She caught his blade on the cross-guard and redirected it low, and he laughed at being caught out. She said something I couldn’t hear. He said something back. She grinned.
