My hands moved as I thought of the next person to call. Kinsley's line rang once, then twice. On the last one, it went straight to her voicemail. “Damn it.” I pulled up the dial pad, knowing it had to be Bodhi next. If anyone was going to answer, it would be him.
“Hello?”
“Hey,” I said quickly, my voice shaking. “I need you to come get me.”
There was silence, then his voice came out rushed and anxious. “Ember? What the hell! Where have you been?!”
It was clear he was angry with me, and I deserved that, but right now, I really needed his help. “Bodhi, please come get me. Now.”
His voice softened immediately. “Where are you?”
I described everything I could remember, starting with the drive.
“I’m coming, hold on,” he said, clearly already moving on the other side of the phone. “Stay there.”
“No, I can’t. I—I’m going to start walking down the main road.”
“Ember—”
The phone was already out of my hand and back on the counter. I didn’t grab anything, I just walked straight out the door and away from Silas.
I remembered some turns we took, along with the general direction from where the car had come. At this point, I’d rather end up anywhere else than here,with him. Fifteen minutes passed, and I’d made it pretty far. My legs started to ache just as headlights pulled up beside me.
The passenger door swung open, and Bodhi leaned across the seat. “Get in, Em.”
I listened, climbing in immediately and sagging into the seat.My body was fully numb now, matching the feeling inside my brain.
The moment the door shut, he looked straight at me, and I could feel the anger radiating off of him. “Were you trying to get yourself hurt?!” he snapped.
I stared down at my hands, but they only reminded me of the others that had touched me. “No.”
He opened his mouth to say something else, but his eyes dragged over my clothes, clearly displeased. Then suddenly, he frowned, “Where’s your necklace?”
“I… don’t know.”
Bodhi just exhaled sharply through his nose as he shifted the car into drive. We sat in silence the rest of the ride. Bodhi simmered in his anger, and I continued to shatter in silence. By the time our house came into view, I was now heavily bleeding from the broken pieces within me.
Bodhi parked and cut the engine. “Kinsley and Kolby are with their family,” he said flatly. “I had to leave to come get you.”
Guilt twisted at my stomach, which only made the bleeding worse. After he was done saying that, he opened the door and slammed it shut as he headed toward the front door.
Bodhi had never been this angry with me before, and that was how I knew I’d messed up.
He hated me as much as I hated myself.
33
Silas
I let the shower run longer than it should, focusing on the scalding heat burning my skin. The air around me was thick, but I barely noticed. I was too busy yelling at myself. My hands braced against the wall in front of me as I stood there. I’d been in this same position for a while, not wanting to move. I just couldn’t make myself…because the second I stepped out of this shower, Ihadto tell her.
I had convinced myself to wait. First, it was because I didn’t want to ruin the simple happiness that a measly pile of fries gave her. Then, I didn't want her to feel trapped in the car. Now, we both had opened up and—I couldn’t wait any longer. It wasn’t fair to her.
But how the hell was I supposed to tell her the truth?
Dragging my hands down my face, I pushed away from the wall and shut the water off. As the bathroom fell silent, so did my mind. The only sound was the faint drip of water hitting the tile. With each drop, I pieced together one more word of what the conversation would be. As I grabbed the towel from the rack and dried off slowly, my mind was still trying to figure it out.
There was no good way to tell someone their privacy had been ripped away from them.
