A choked moan escaped her, but I knew she understood what I’d said. Straightening her dress out, I bent and picked up all the books we had knocked over. Sliding the last one back into it's home, I rested my hand there for a second before standing. The air was still charged between us, filled with everything she refused to admit.
Good.
Buttoning my pants, I watched her brush out her hair with her fingers. Then, I turned to the door, unlocking it with a quiet click. I didn’t open it just yet. Instead, I looked back at her. “You know the funny thing about control?” I said.
She didn’t answer, and I knew it was because she was still trying to fight her feelings for me.
Taking a step toward her, I moved slow enough that she had time to react if she was going to, but she didn’t.
“Everyone thinks it’s about holding onto it,” I continued, my voice even. “Keeping it. Protecting it.” I took another step. “But it’s not.” I saw it in her now, the fire that refused to dim even when the oxygen in the room was thin. “It’s about what happens,” I added quietly, “when it’s ripped away completely.” I stopped in front of her again, close enough that I could see her unsteady breaths. “You don't get a choice in what happens now.” My fingers brushed her arm, light at first, then steady as my hand settled briefly on her lower back. “You have claimed a piece of me because you’re meant to have it, just like you’remeant to be mine. You’ll see.”
“You’re wrong,” she said, her volatile side still clearly out to play.
Bracing one hand against the wall beside her shoulder, I stayed near enough that the absence of contact felt deliberate.
“Then why give in to me again?” I asked quietly. “Why let me touch you?”
Her eyes flicked up to mine, irritation flashing hot, but there was no answer. Her mouth remained closed.At least she’s not trying to lie again.
“I’m wrong?” I repeat, almost thoughtful. “That’s interesting, considering I can still taste your pretty little cunt.”
“I—” She cut herself off, realizing the trap too late. “That’s not the point.”
“No,” I agreed, leaning in slightly. “It’s not.”
I held her eye contact through my mask because I knew she was unable to look away, to look anywhere else. If she turned her head, she relinquished her control. That was the beauty of this whole thing, the reason why this was going to work. Ineededthe control. She needed to feel like she had it.
“How bout I make you a deal,” I murmured. “You decide that you really don’t want this, and you can tell me to fuck off.”
“Fuck—” she said immediately.
Too fast.
“Say it now, and I won’t touch you again.Ever.”
She opened her mouth to speak but closed it again without finishing her sentence.Fuck, my dick was getting hard again.
I needed her to understand how serious I was, to know that I had no hesitation. I let the moment sit—just long enough for her to process it, then I stepped back. The space between us returned, but it didn’t undo anything I’d said. Nothing between us could be undone. I turned, reaching for the door to pull it open. Cool air slipped into the room, breaking the tension just enough to make it breathable again. “You should know I mean what I say. I disabled the cameras before I came in.” I didn't look back as I left.
18
Ember
I pushed the door to the bookstore open and stepped out onto the small stairs, my legs barely standing from the weight of my things. I had been ravaged, again. What happened in there with Silas hadn't exactly been amistake,but I had given him another chance to turn me into a complete mess.
Setting my things down, I positioned the key in our hidden spot, the one that Atlas would find it in tomorrow morning. That part was easy to take care of, I just needed to send a simple text and hope that Silas meant what he had said about the cameras.
Silas.
He was an asshole, a monster, and everything I wanted.
That fucking guy made me so angry, so confused...and so horny. The storm he caused inside of me was the perfect combination of rage, lust, and a continuous stream of questioning myself. Even thinking about him now caused me to descend deeper into the hurricane within my mind.
Starting the walk home, I held on to my small box and fixed my eyes on the cracks in the sidewalk like they might anchor me back to earth. They didn’t, because nothing could. All I couldfeel was him, all I could see was his mask.I should have looked when I had the chance. I should have let myself see his face.But I couldn’t bring myself to do it, not when he was giving me the smallest slice of trust. I wasn’t like him. I needed to be better than that.
I thought the experience with him last time had been amazing, but this was completely different and just as mind-blowing. It was like he knew exactly what to say and how to touch me. There were moments with him earlier, I couldn’t even think. My brain refused to form words, and afterwards? It was like he already knew how I felt. The way he got under my skin didn’t make sense—it shouldn’t make sense, because I barely knew him.
I exhaled sharply, shaking my head.
