Luna lifts her chin but says nothing.
“You think I didn’t care about them, but you’re wrong. You couldn’t bemorewrong. I got greedy. I made mistakes. I did things to good people who didn’t deserve it, but I amnotthe man you’ve seen blasted on the news.”
Luna’s constricted eyes finally ease. When she comes toward me, her chin has lowered. “Would you call yourself a good person, Sawyer?”
It’s a trap. I know it even as I walk into it. “Yes.”
She stops in front of me, her eyes glossing with a plea that hasn’t yet left her mouth.
“You really believe that?”
“Yes, Luna.”
Get to the punchline.
I’m delusional.
I’m crazy.
I’m—
“I’m going to ask you a question. Answer for yourself, not for me.
“You cared about Annie, didn’t you?” she asks, but it isn’t the question. She’s merely asking for clarification.
I nod.
“And when she died, you grieved. You felt guilt. Youstillfeel guilt because the people who killed her were trying to kill you.”
My throat seems to thicken, tonsils heavy. Again, I nod.
“You’re not sure if you loved her, but you think you might have. And you told her so.”
I don’t nod this time. Not because the answer isn’t yes, but because I’m growing tired of this. My chest pricks with tingles, and the urge to count the leaves on the trees ahead of me grows strong. My teeth don’t chatter, but they shift.
“Tell me, Sawyer... If you’re a good guy… If you loved that girl and cared about all those women… If you’re the guy who burnshimself to save those in need… Then what would you have done if Annie, the woman you grieve, had asked you to let her go?”
Up ahead, leaves crunch. I look that way but don’t see anyone. Not with my eyes.
In my head, I see Annie. I don’t need to imagine some scenario where she wanted to go home. I don’t need to do a deep dive to role play the situation.
She did ask to leave. They all ask to leave, at one point or another.
She wanted me to meet her son. I told her it wasn’t safe to leave the island. She knew I didn’t mean it wasn’t safe for her.
But she loved me. She told me she loved me. She was happy.Wewere happy.
Luna takes both sides of my head and brings me to look at her. “Thisis how I know you’re never going to help me… You wouldn’t even free the woman you wear around your neck.”
I blink at her, my stomach twisting.
That was different.
Thisis different.
I didn’t do this. I didn’tchooseher.
My island was not this place.
