The fear arrived then, the way it always arrived, while something else had my attention.
The last time someone had loved me like that, entirely, out loud, I had failed her from a locked room two hundred miles away. Nadia's hand was warm on my chest, and all I could think was that she had just handed me something my track record said I would break.
SIXTEEN
DAEMON
On Friday at work, I was somewhere else entirely. Physically present but mentally miles away, running worst-case scenarios on a loop.
What if Elevate escalated? What if they went after Nadia's family? What if something happened at one of her events and I wasn't there to stop it?
"Daemon, are you gonna do something with that?" Tyler's voice cut through my spiraling thoughts.
I blinked, realizing I'd been standing motionless in the middle of the job site, holding a two-by-four while the rest of the crew waited.
"Yeah. Sorry." I moved to position the board under the drop saw, but my measurements were off. Tyler caught it before I could make the cut.
"Hold up." He checked my mark. "What the fuck? Can you get your act together before you screw up big time?"
"Sorry. Just distracted."
"Clearly." Tyler studied me. "You've been off all day. What the hell is going on?"
"Nothing. Long night."
But Tyler wasn't buying it. He exchanged a look with Malakai, who was working nearby. One of those silent conversations that happen when you've known someone long enough.
I knew what was coming. Still, when Ethan called end of shift and everyone headed to his place for Friday drinks, I couldn't think of a good excuse not to go.
Ethan and Lindsey's clifftop Victorian was impressive without being showy. Big enough for the entire crew to spread out, with a veranda that looked out to the coastline in both directions.
Lindsey appeared long enough to say hello before disappearing upstairs to her office in the tower. "Writing deadline," she explained. "You boys play nicely."
The crew filtered in. Ethan grabbed beers from the industrial-sized fridge and handed them out before claiming the rattan couch. Cole settled into what was clearly his usual chair. Chase and some of the others, including Zac and the Kendrick brothers, stretched out on the veranda.
I sat on the front steps and tried to blend into the background, but Tyler and Malakai had me cornered within ten minutes.
"So." Tyler handed me a beer. "You want to tell us what the fuck is going on, or do we have to play twenty questions?"
"Nothing's going on."
"Bullshit," said Malakai. "You've been somewhere else all day. Made three mistakes on measurements, nearly dropped a sheet of drywall on Zac's foot, and checked your phone every five minutes."
"I'm fine."
"Also, bullshit." Tyler propped his hip against the ornate railing that fronted the veranda, his gaze locked on mine. "Is this about Nadia?"
The name alone made my chest tight. "What about her?"
"That's what we're asking." Malakai studied me with an intensity that made me twitchy. "You were good when the two of you got together. Now it's like you're waiting for the other shoe to drop."
"I'm not?—"
"You are," interrupted Tyler. "And we get it. New relationship, big feelings, scary stuff. But if you don't deal with whatever's eating you, you're screwed."
I took a long pull of my beer, buying time. Further along the veranda, the Kendrick brothers were arm wrestling to resolve their latest argument. Zac was laughing at something Ethan said. Normal. Easy.
Everything I wasn't feeling.
